thoughts and words
Monday, April 30, 2007
super loud thoughts

OMG!!! OMG!!! was chatting with hui ling about some certain guy in my class which i used to have a crush on last time. then what a coincidence i'm in the same guy as him now. then u guess what? HUI LING TOLD ME SHE HAS A CRUSH ON THAT SAME GUY TOO! omg omg! i can't believe it. LOL. ok, she would probably kill me after reading this.

loves from anna-res

Random thoughts

random thoughts more. blah. it is so boring in class and my team is ponning! only left me and husky in the team, i think will. blah blah blah.

so boring. i wanna stay home and rot. ROTTING TO DEATH!!!

blah. miss sweetie so much, i wish i can see him at this moment!


=) happy happy birthday to my dearest angie and my dearest sweetie.

loves from anna-res

Random thoughts

damn bored in class now. zzz. going to doze off soon. damn boring. WHY AM I IN CLASS TODAY when i can spend my time sleeping at home?

dead, i really think school is getting more and more boring. and guess what? i split soy milk on my pants somemore.

arrggg!!! bad day!

loves from anna-res

Thursday, April 26, 2007
tired tired tired

i am dead tired this week. i don't know why, i feel everything that i am doing, there will be someone out there against me. and worst still, i really hate people who anyhow put words into my mouth causing a conflict. i don't which idiot say things he shouldn't say causing major conflicts between me and some others.

seriously, i am beginning to wonder, what is TRUST. sometimes i even wonder can i trust myself for putting trust into that person. this word is dangerous. and me, being a very partial person who loves justice, for any allegation on me, i will simply fight back if it does not fit on me.

perhaps is misunderstanding or miscommunications, but the people whom should trust me most, distrust me. what can i do? all they say is that i am trying to convince them into something they call hoax. i don't ask for them to be convinced, all i ask is for them to trust me. it is not the first day they know me. and guess what, i am utterly disappointed. because at the end of the day, they say they know me well, i should say, NO. they don't know me at all.

seriously, i am very very sick and tired of these things. i really missed the days i was in travelPAC. went back there yst to help out david in some admin stuff. i really love makan sessions with paul and jun long. you know, though i don't say i know them really well but perhaps because of their simplicity, i can really click and communicate with them (paul is libra, jun long is aries) even if their horoscope doesn't click with me.

up till now, i have been asking myself this questions many many times over, to walk to where i am now, do i regret or did i enjoyed. am i happy to be where am i or i would have been happier to lead the kind of life i was suppose to. perhaps this is my fate.

-i am not begging but i am just asking politely, please do not do things that make me regret this journey.-

loves from anna-res

Tuesday, April 24, 2007
someone

someone asked me why i never update my blog for so many days. then someone says he checks my blog everyday. perhaps someone want to see his name here but i die die don't want to blog. what can someone do to me?

:p

loves from anna-res

Thursday, April 19, 2007
killing me softly

Killing me softly
By Lauryn Hill

Stromin my pain with his fingers
Singin my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

I heard he sang a good song
I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him and listen for a while
And there he was this young boy
Stranger to my eyes

Chorus:Stromin my pain with his fingers (one time, one time)
Singin my life with his words (two times, two times)
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

I felt all flushed with fever
Embarrased by the crowd
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud
I pray that he would finish
But he just kept right on
--------------------------------------------------
I remembered my 1st time hearing this song. It was sang by this lady who had really good vocals during a religious gathering I once joined. i feel very attached to this song, not because of the lyrics but my encounter with this songs. it was the time you have always thought you are alone and then there is this group of people there with you, singing and dancing. though the company is short but it was much appreciated.

finally back home early from school. papa and gor gor also surprised. LOL. so long never see them, miss them so much. and guess what? gor gor went to dye his hair!!! :x. OMG!!! i can't believe this. = = when did my brother ever does such things. wahaha. not bad. he went over to Keith there to do. wahahaha! i still can't believe it lahz. at age 31, finally go dye hair. wahahahahah!

had some misunderstandings with him again, thanks to cz. but also thanks to cz, we once again, cleared it up. and then he so funny, he told me brb. and he literally brb. HE CAME DOWN TO RP FOR LUNCH!!! =) thanks sweetie for the surprise. i think i very bad. always make him come to rp. LOL! next time i go your school ok? wahahaha! and the queue, the crowd were freaking huge. zzz thanks to year 1.

loves from anna-res

not happy. buzz off

i just can't understand something. why am i being blamed for someone's incompetency? is it my fault that he doesn't know how to partial his emotions and chunk things out? am i to blame? what role have i played? this is call PROFESSIONALISM.

so what my mum left? did i just sit there and rot? didn't i even chunk out the proposal to meet the deadline? so what your grandma left? didn't you too managed to do the roadshow? was i to blame if he can't do his work well? that is his problem. the blame shouldn't be on me.

i have my freedom to date. i have my freedom to like someone. i have my freedom to love. why can't i choose the person i like. why do i have to be blamed?

i just don't see the link of one's incompetency with my relationship problem! sorry. i will not give up too.

you should know, it isn't easy to find someone who can give you that kind of feelings, who is willing to do that. and i've found one. so i'm not letting anything to stop me.

do you think you are very selfish? i have my own feelings. i am not a superwoman afterall. even if i am or i was, i am sick and tired of being one. all i ask for is someone to be there for me, someone who can make me smile when i'm not, someone who can let me lean when i'm tired, someone who can understand my feelings, and if i can find someone who can give me that, why shouldn't i accept it? why should there be any restrictions? i'm not here to live in regrets.

loves from anna-res

Wednesday, April 18, 2007
off day

wa, my 1st off day in the new year. zzz. woke up quite late today because i slept late yst. hehe.

woke up still quite early lah, went to sch to meet hui ling. went to it helpdesk reformat her lappy. rot there quite long. saw wei yang in the canteen today. wondered how is him and his archery team. haven't been talking to him for quite awhile. neglected this bestie liao. see lahz. sorry, bro!

lol. after that, went down to jurong regional library. have an event there. overall i tink it is successful. though that stupid leon came late because his bike punctured. luckily i could managed it myself. and guess what guess what? tat stoopid boy says he meeting someone in the evening. and then i see him in the library. =) hehe! miss me then say ok? LOL!

blah.

loves from anna-res

Happy happy

today studied about pharmaceutical laws. was pretty boring. but liesbet was my faci. so not too bad.

had a small/big (don't what's the extent too) misunderstanding with him. but we cleared it up quite a bit. at least we are pretty sure of some things. and know what? he is my sweetie! was "arguing" with him in class on msn while trying to pay attention to the laws, getting the printers and the caterers. wa, i really thought i going to spit fire at people. but guess what? after school, he came to rp to have dinner with me. right up to my class. =) hehe! thanks sweetie.

-happy happy-

loves from anna-res

Sunday, April 15, 2007
school is tomorrow

ok, school is tomorrow and yesterday was chionging at fluid somemore. only reached home at 6pm today. OMG!

spent the night with ming yang and cz in the office, then met hj for conference. i think he almost died. LOL.

this holiday can be considered as the most fruitful one i ever had. 9 weeks of work and fun. brought dotbox to another level. i seriously will miss the days in office talking cock, going out together.

most importantly, i will miss the guys!!!! though i will get to see leon and cz alot in school. LOL.

:x haiz...

loves from anna-res

cutie

the first time i saw him, i find him somewhat familiar. the more i looked, the more i was attracted to him because i can feel the familiarity in him.

finally i understand why. it is the way, his eyes sparkle and communicate. it was the same type, same glance as prince.

cutie. =)

i like the way he is direct and straightforward.

loves from anna-res

Friday, April 13, 2007
more randomness

ok. just finish viewing his video. didn't know he has such a good voice. pity i did not notice him earlier otherwise, would have long heard him sing.

his hp strap is still rotting in front of my desk. LOL!

loves from anna-res

randomness

The Reason
By Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
-----------------------------------------------
Randomly playing iTunes and heard this song. this song always reminds me of many many things. especially one person, my buddy. =) i realised that all these times, no matter how much i complained about him, he is always the one who's there for me. thanks buddy.

was at jayrius' birthday party today at costa sands sentosa. thanks for the invite. =) lisa is nice too. thanks.

on the way home, ming yang was asking me, do i feel that in 2007, time passes very fast? after much thought, i ought to agree too. in fact, ever since last february, after my mum left, i realised i've change alot. perhaps i've seen too much and know too much. the world is like this, everyone is doing something to protect themselves.

you know, you are smart. and i'm no angel by nature. i've told you before of my deeds. and you don't know alot more about me. there are boundaries to everything. you are one of my partner and i hope, we will remain as a partner. this is always the safest bet, if you get what i mean.

can't really sleep after drinking quite a few rounds of liquor. but cordon bleu is good. been thinking alot these days. especially our future. was watching some videos my friend was sending to me online, came across a video on him, the musical he was in. weirdest thing is that, even when i went for acres meeting, i have to get involve with someone who worked on that musical. lol.

but still, thanks loads to jona and cz, especially wei yang. =) love you guys most! for everything, from rantings to encouragement.

loves from anna-res

Tuesday, April 10, 2007
NEW CLASS!!

OMG!!! class list is out.. excitement...

but after viewing it, i think i only look forward to Lab Management lesson most. WHY?

guess guess...

LOL! because, BENJI and SYLVESTER is in my class!!! weee! ok. with 2 eye candies in my class, i definately won't be bored. but too bad, see a few ex-classmate here. SIAN! for lab management, other than benji and sly, also same class as rafiee, jolin, jessica, jeff, parvin, liyana, jerome and krystal (cz's buddy).

2nd most look forward class: Digital Media Design bah

i thought i get to be in a class full of yr 2 shuai ge, but to my disappointment, i see a lot of year 3. and guess what? i see mabel in my class. my ex-bball mate. =)

for Pharmacotherapy and Pharmacy Practice, same class as jessamine, si jia, raudah, dasha, cz, desmond, seema.

for Pharmaceutical Legislation and Marketing, same class as ya hui, boon yen, viki and i think audrey.

blah. suddenly, even with benji and sly in my class, also quite sian to go back. :p

but then, aiyah. HECK CARE. 1 more year. ENDURANCE!!

loves from anna-res

Saturday, April 07, 2007
Thoughts...

听见

你不开心的眼
仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
距离就算再靠近
眼前我们一样没交点
没有你的世界
就像寒冬没有春天依偎
少了你陪在身
边我的四季只剩下冬天
悲伤喜悦回忆不断重演
静下来的世界有我的思念
也有你的空虚无边
你有没有听见
寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
它住进我们之间
消耗着我和你的永远
思念的呼唤传遍每条街
就算你走的再远
累了回头我就在你的身边

some things are meant not to be written. probably that's why my previous entry did not get posted eventually.

recently having crazy thoughts, or rather dreams. perhaps was influenced by cz too much, dreamt of princey, and in these dreams, i either slapped him or smacked his head hard. violence genes. anyhow, thanks for the dream. =)

have been chatting with wei yang recently. today he smsed me. took me by surprise because firstly, i didn't save his new number. secondly, he seldom sms me, usually i'm the one who sms him. whether it rains inside or outside, there's always a me for you. just remember this. =)

loves from anna-res

Friday, April 06, 2007
Red Dot Museum

after facilitating for so many times, this is my 1st time facilitating primary school kids. i have never thought of what to expect from these kids and certainly, i wasn't prepared for the noises or even cries.

though my experience with 5 Joy was a noisy bunch, nevertheless these over-enthusiastic girls are a lovely bunch. i think what really makes a teacher's job noble is having to handle as well as educating these 30 screaming girls. i think the most happy part in this facilitating is when you looked at the feedback form, it says "i hope this happens every month and i want the same trainer to be back" or when the girls came over and hugged me asking me when will i see them again.

other than the little girls, i also got to know a wonderful bunch of trainers and facilitators.

after red dot, went back to visit travelPAC. =) gosh, really miss them so much. Especially my good bosses, albert and david. and david is dressing up more and more. ;) jia wen and sharon looks good. so does auntie, paul and jun long. didn't manage to see charlie and darren. think most probably they went outfield. sudden urge to go back to that crazy family. lol.

after the visit, went back to office and met leon. helped him with his tickets then went dinner together with jensen. walked over to the dim sum stall there and had wan ton noodles. nice! talked quite awhile before going back. on the way, stopped again and ate beancurd. then headed back to office to start moving the furnitures. =)

damn it! i am sitting at a corner. SIANZ...

loves from anna-res

Thursday, April 05, 2007
just something

the more you avoid it
the closer you will get to
that is what i realised

haven't you know the danger
haven't you know the consequences
haven't you know the risk you're taking

haven't you know it is this hard.

loves from anna-res

Tuesday, April 03, 2007
bout of emotions

it's raining now. i can see the rain. was thinking of something call "responsibility". to what extent can one determine how responsible the other is? in bid of adapting to the changing environment, i'm pretty sure the roles in responsibility changes as well.

sometimes when it comes to debating about our roles of responsibility, i wonder was mummy's absence a bliss or a misfortune? is it me or just them, who fails to realise that i am no longer the serene i used to be. perhaps i've flown too far away...

ok. enough about family.

today finally got to meet darling again. =) after fyp, we went to old causeway for lunch and had a super duper long talk. miss her so much!

talked about several things. LOL.

"Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you."

that is what i believe.

yesterday joanna and cz were chatting about some relationship stuff. something that joanna said made me ponder. she said, even though everyday she meets ken and kan wei, she will never consider them romantically because they are her business partners.

this comes down to the word PROFESSIONALISM again.

i remembered there was once i declared loudly to cz and darling that "i am professional! i will never consider a performer or a client"

ok. apparently, somehow i think that i had overestimated myself. there are some things in life, emotions can override intellectual. however, it is also up to one's mind and determination whether to allow his emotions take control...

*it's all about YOURSELF

loves from anna-res

Sunday, April 01, 2007
Updates, yet again

Wednesday



Had a photo post on wednesday. We went to Barnone for the launch of Jamango Island. Was invited. Anyway, read a lot about it, it was my first time there. Ambience quite cool. An obvious that the crowd there are professionals. We just slacked and drank there, never really went to network. Took loads of photos that you saw in previous post. Cz was in a naughty mood. ;)



Thursday



Went for FYP meeting. tio pang sey by cz but never mind. and very obviously, darling and i are always the ones who are early. with that stupid buddy and cz, never expect them to be early. so so long never see darling. miss her so much. how i wish she is still with us in dotbox. there are so so much i want to share with her. :x i also miss angie and marilyn! LOL! FYP was cool lah, i managed to smoke through as usual. LOL! Then went over to Sports complex to have lunch, House of Lobsters. 1st time there, food not bad but serving little. $4 per plate, slightly ex but affordable. Still prefer food in canteen. oh, i missed the western food. now they have a new vendor and the food simply taste awful. yikes!



went to office slightly late cause took wrong bus. :x LOL! no lah, didn't really take wrong bus. i am not that stupid ok? i almost boarded 961 when i suddenly remembered is 960. too bad, 960 just left so had to wait for it again. but at least it wasn't raining. at night, went to meet jensen for dinner. hehe! speaking of that, i remembered i was supposed to have a date with keng wi long long long ago. but since he never ask, i can't be bothered to ask to. :x ooops. ok, jensen as always, wear until very geena. LOL. treat from jensen cause supposingly he owed us one. hehe! nice nice steamboat. next time going to bring the boys there, otherwise they always complain eat here eat there, eat the same food. LOL. speaking of that, i missed going late night movies with them. heard they secretly went to watched 300 without me, and still dared to call me, ask me am i back home so that i can bring umbrella for them. = = wa! nice dad and bro i have. LOL! after dinner, went to raffles to meet hj. went to fluid bar. met leon and supposingly jl. but that boy arhz, aiyo. so so late also haven't come. so hj and i left first. and guess what? i met my sec sch mates on the train. i think i was staring at that guy from my batch. LOL! then he also look and look. finally he smiled and said hi, then i knew i was right. LOL! ok, dunnoe what i told hj but i knew most of the time in the train, we were laughing and laughing and laughing. weird.



Friday



woke up damn early to go to far east plaza. met hj at BK and obviously, cz was late. so we went in without him. meeting was ok, just different sets of clients. LOL. so later, we waited for cz to arrive and slacked a little at lucky plaza's foodcourt. then we went upstairs to circus circus. i simply love that place, especially the daytona set. cause it was there, that i beat the following guys in daytona: kwang nam, ben, jeen ke, jason tan, qiang and recently hj. :p LOL! proud of myself, my daytona skills are still there.



after that, we played pool for awhile. my 3rd time playing pool and my skill is still as lousy as before. if jeen ke ever sees this, probably he will be so disappointed with this disciple. :x LOL! so those 2 guys were making fun of that stupid air ball. yak yak yak. whatever. = =



jl came to our office, and his cologne still as strong as ever. LOL! nice cologne he has but the smell quite common. ok, i'm not some pervertic.



Saturday



One of the days that I drank alot. Met hj in the morning and was late again. hehe! probably the next time i'm late, he will just chop me up into pieces since he doesn't like latecomers. LOL. so off off we went to get our pig banquet. went back to office and continued rotting until the people start coming in. played dai dee while waiting for bday boy cz. he was really surprised when he saw tay there. ;) LOL!



after the celebration, leon, cz, hj, jayrius and i went to st james. woootz. FUN. saw dr lam and he is as sexy as ever. LOL! i simply love his eyes. his look is very piercing. so, the forum was quite cool. and they had drinks on the house. ended up drinking quite alot. 3 cups red wine from office, 1 pint beer, 1 pop, 1 whiskey green tea. the beer and whisky green tea were a killer. it didn't make me drunk, but it made me flooded like hell. :x


after that, went gai gai with leon and hj. went to topman cause leon want to get some clothes. simply love the long sleeves wear from topman. i love the geeky, old school look. wahahahaha!



then later, cz came to join us back and guess what? we met ting ting. hehe! and guess what? cz, you better treat me better ok? see. i can make tay come, i can also make ting ting come. you better know what you want. :p


char sao, sao rou

bak ku teh

lotus soup and spare ribs

zhu jiao dong










Sunday


Dear Serene, Here is your horoscopefor Sunday, April 1:

Take a new aspect of your relationship public. Yes, you're shy, but that's because you're not used to having other people see this side of you two. Take a deep breath and smile. Remember, this audience is on your side.


LOL! my horoscope trying to hint something. that day was chatting with jayrius about jinlong and prince. then jensen came to talk to me about it too. so did jona. weird. but anyway, conclusion is: i can't be bothered anymore. like what i told jayrius, i'm turning crooked! -ok, was kidding- but this sort of things come naturally de right? i can't just go and bite them right? anyway, i'm long over it, so cz, don't worry. you should know my nick name. LOL! and know what? i'm better off without them!


anyway, don't get too close to me... i don't want to be tangled up in this messy business.

loves from anna-res

FEMEE

eneres
is
weird

MARTINI KISSES
babes & dudes

001: Arty Farty
002: Serene Tay
003: Hui Ling
004: Ernest
005: Muhe
006: Nelson
007: Shawn
008: Twin
009: Kingone
010: Jerome


VODKA LIME



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November 2006
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