thoughts and words

i am dead tired this week. i don't know why, i feel everything that i am doing, there will be someone out there against me. and worst still, i really hate people who anyhow put words into my mouth causing a conflict. i don't which idiot say things he shouldn't say causing major conflicts between me and some others.

seriously, i am beginning to wonder, what is TRUST. sometimes i even wonder can i trust myself for putting trust into that person. this word is dangerous. and me, being a very partial person who loves justice, for any allegation on me, i will simply fight back if it does not fit on me.

perhaps is misunderstanding or miscommunications, but the people whom should trust me most, distrust me. what can i do? all they say is that i am trying to convince them into something they call hoax. i don't ask for them to be convinced, all i ask is for them to trust me. it is not the first day they know me. and guess what, i am utterly disappointed. because at the end of the day, they say they know me well, i should say, NO. they don't know me at all.

seriously, i am very very sick and tired of these things. i really missed the days i was in travelPAC. went back there yst to help out david in some admin stuff. i really love makan sessions with paul and jun long. you know, though i don't say i know them really well but perhaps because of their simplicity, i can really click and communicate with them (paul is libra, jun long is aries) even if their horoscope doesn't click with me.

up till now, i have been asking myself this questions many many times over, to walk to where i am now, do i regret or did i enjoyed. am i happy to be where am i or i would have been happier to lead the kind of life i was suppose to. perhaps this is my fate.

-i am not begging but i am just asking politely, please do not do things that make me regret this journey.-