thoughts and words

today went down to nus business school to meet alvin and jing yang. it has been a long long while since i last met them. 1 year. i told myself, 1 year, i must make a difference in my life. 1 year, i will prove to him that females are not only housewives. LOL. i think i did. and i am so so glad they still remembered me. because i once said, remember my name, remember my innovation, i will see you again, stronger. I DID. -so proud of myself-

i really really missed startup days. choon hou, darling, mu mu. i really missed them alot. and i missed the days i chiong my startup things and still found time to go out with him. i don't meet him often. perhaps 2 or 3 hours a week. but i am happy. because he makes me happy. and he calls me snoopy (no one ever calls me that!). LOL. i think it was really nice.

i am still chionging for something. today still. my says i know what i want in my life but he doesn't. really? i still don't know what i want. i realised it has been more and more vague. is it because i am still not any near to it. somehow i feel, chionging now and chionging then, is very different. in the past, i may be satisfied with 2 or 3 hours, but now, i'm not. i could see results and i know when it was ending. now, i can't. i am just chionging for an empty space that i don't know what is it all about.

simplicity bah. the difference is.

still talking to him for the past 2 days. seriously i still don't know how i feel or how i think. i don't why. i still feel agitated and frustrated at the mention of that incident. perhaps we viewed it differently? he kept insisted that he was right and he was responsible. yes, the act may be childish. i am not doubting him. but i just don't know why, it doesn't sound real at all. all along i thought i know you well, but just at that moment, he seemed so so distance. that i don't know him at all. i couldn't answer or say anything when he called me. i didn't know what to say. what to think. what to do. i can only coldly say orh. hmmm. i know it hurts you alot. it hurts me too. because i realised we aren't the same. it feels like i am talking to an alien. i am not neglecting you. give us some time bah. perhaps, we need to know each other more bahz.

*thanks jona and twinnie*