thoughts and words

though the things i did, didn't really tally. after school, went over to office, yes. as mentioned.

then after that stupid brandy green tea, went over to fluid bar to look for jui lim. blah. did not get wasted there. drank some vodka lime, ginger ale vodka. yaya kept pouring vodka into my glass, so i drank. he claims that he has bad tolerance level which is very true. :x LOL!

so after drinking, i was rather high. did some stupid things to eddy. i think i've freaked him out. then after eddy left, walked over to central to take bus with cz. had a freaking big fight with him cause of some things he said. work is strictly disallowed after office hours especially when i drink, otherwise, you are sure dead. wa, i scolded and said every single thing i could think of. then later board NR1 with a bloody bad mood. to be frank, am not feeling well these few days. especially with how my classmates treated me when i treated them well, how my family keeps burdening me with things, school work, self expectation and my expectation towards dotbox. you should really see how i yelled at cz. LOL! then i really finally couldn't take it and i did the most unthinkable thing ever.

CRY. in the bus. = = really. i am freaking drained from everything in life. and i won't hide. i didn't hide. i tell you the truth. if i could have choose, i will definately leave s'pore. FOREVER. i once believed and still believe, i have got nothing to lose. so it was really freaking me out.

I HATE MY LIFE! I HATE MY MUM! I HATE HOW I WAS BROUGHT UP! I JUST FUCKING HATE THE PERSON WHO CREATED US AND MY LIFE!

ok... so i really thought i could die. LOL. was at yishun ten crossing that stupid road. green light, can cross le. i paused for awhile before started walking. when i walked, i don't from where, there is this FUCKING CHEEBYE INSANE CAR WITH DRUNK DRIVERS come out from where speeding. ok. i saw it. i paused in the middle of the road. but at an angle where i know they will never hit me. i was pondering, whether to take one step forward. i didn't eventually. so i didn't die. and the FUCKING CHEEBYE INSANE CAR WITH DRUNK DRIVERS still dare to honk. HONK what shit. i never kick his bloody car, scold him vulgarities, he should be happy le. FUCK it. and yup, i think jui lim and yaya saw it too. LOL.

YOU FUCKING CHEEBYE INSANE CAR WITH DRUNK DRIVERS, you lucky you meet serene today. if you ever meet my alter ego, I MAKE YOU ROT LIKE SHIT.