thoughts & words

Sundays

2007-10-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

而我知道
五月天

冰块还没融化你在看表我笑的尴尬
你说最近很忙改天聊吧
那天我在楼下想了很久想你说的话
你说爱情很窄世界很大(而我们应该长大)
就这样吧就这样吧
我想我听懂你话中的话

而我知道那真爱不一定能白头到老
而我知道有一天你可能就这么走掉
而我知道我知道这一切
我全都知道我就是受不了
而我知道我们曾天真的一起哭和笑
而我知道放开手但不知道怎么忘掉
而我知道你走了以后的每一分一秒
却还是这么难熬
微笑紧紧咬牙给你祝福你自由飞吧
你说温室没有灿烂的花(你总是很有想法)
就这样吧就这样吧我同意可是我泪如雨下
----------------------------------------------------
it's funny how sometimes you know things will never work out
but somehow, with that little hope, we still chose to believe
and then at the end, we were hurt. very hurt.
why do we even start it when we know we will be hurt
why do we choose to believe at that little hope
when you know that, that isn't hope at all
it's call illusion...
stop me before it's too late...

woke up early today. 7am! omg. earlier than i go school. dressed, did my hair, make up, took bus to bedok for my photoshoot. on my way to bedok, saw this accident near upper changi road. apparently, the person died, and there were blood on the road. don't know why. but it reminded me of that MOS incident. the feeling is like you thought you that person or the person is someone close to you.

they said, for people to meet, it is known as fate. doesn't matter where you are. in the train, on the bus, or on the road. you may not remember his face. but probably somewhere, you two have met earlier or walked past each other. or probably years later, he becomes your boss, or someone very close to you. this is how fate works. and sometimes, i really want to applaud to what fate can do.

i've always wanted to be simple
i've always everything simple
and i failed to realised
probably i am complicated to begin with
your simplicity might find me too complicated for you

chasing my dream isn't a sin
is it?

i need some partying!!!

2007-10-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

i tink i have been a havoc recently. work, home, chill, work, chill.

thurs went to opss for a talk. though the kids are not reponsive but ok lah, there's this cute cute PE teacher there. :p after that, went back to school for ut. wore formal. hmm... remember the interesting people? yup. though i never went for lessons, still met them on thurs. quite cool i think. especially supplements. i think he looks good in shirts. but then i realised, there is this huge gap that is in between us. like we are worlds apart. haiz.

fri went to A*star to help michael out. it is so so fun! scoop scoop ice cream. =) and there are quite a few geeky cute guys. at night, met jj at mac. ate a bit, rot, talked and crap alot.

today went to singtel find ivan with jj. have been going out with jj alot. omg. anyway, after settling my stuff, we went makan at cuppage. kimchi ramen is good! then we went to shop shop a bit. it's quite cool going shopping with 3 guys. i think next time, i will ask them go shopping with me. they are fun. though the jj are crazy with their "pi" joke. and i realised something. i can wear pretty kids clothings for european brand. wahahah! next time i going to get the kids one liao. cheap and nice. hahaha, i tink i also almost every sat going to meet ivan. LOL. but his a levels coming soon. too bad. probably we will go chilling out after his As.

capricorns are fun people

super busy week

2007-10-17T23:59:00.001+08:00

firstly, before i rant about my super busy week, got some things to say.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINLONG!!! (16 Oct 07)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALAN!!! (17 Oct 07)

lol. yeah. Happy birthday to the guys. =)

gosh. sat went to vivo to watch s'pore fashion week, met ian, met ivan, met jeremy. sun morning woke up early, did my 1st ever modelling photoshoot. reached there at 7am. zzz. i am a sleeping beauty ok? mon went to school. tues school. met ian, get poster, met jo and jeremy at suntec. went home at 12+am.

woke up 7.30am this morning and my hair was in a mess. by the time i settled it a bit, i was late!!! am suppose to meet jona at 9am and i am holding on to his poster. thankfully my papa sent me to school. daddykins is the best! met darling in causeway, went to buy ingredients, makan. lab. lunch. travelpac. work. and guess what? i got another photoshoot coming sun. weee. fun fun. back in yishun, met jinlong. met matthew. talk cock sing song. zzz.

i wanna slp le. bad mood. lost specs.

hmmm...

2007-10-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

not very recently, i got to know a group of guys. hmmm... let's call them the vitamin A, amino acids(AA), supplements and vitamin B. how should i start? i find that they are an interesting bunch of people. i shouldn't say that they are very good looking bunch of people but decent, pleasant looking ones. and they have brains.

so... i got to know of their existence when i was in the same class as 2 of them for different modules. as usual, long time ago, one fine day, i was in class, waiting for that cz to come and me chatting with AA cause he was in my group and he was waiting for his mates. hmmm... i should say then, i noticed all of them when they came to "pick" AA up. they are nothing. really. and i didn't know the other one of them was also in my class.

weeks after weeks, they come in and out of the class. begin to notice them more.

new semester starts. and my biggest surprise. the other 2 who were not same as me before, were now in my class and my team! ok. it's nothing really. they aren't fantastic. just interesting. and worst is, i realised my "twin" had noticed that i was noticing them and she is also noticing them. OMG. chaos!!!

and so yup. the story is like this. what i have been doing in school recently. somehow, this bunch of guys were like motivation to go school and classes. not because i have a crush on them or i like them, but yes, i do like them. i enjoy being their friend. it's like, not having to think so much. it's a very relax feeling. they are simple. not complicated... as yet. i love simple stuff. and simple friends.

so, yup. they are an interesting bunch of people. and i love observing them with my evil twin.

Feelings... What's that?

2007-10-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

Don't ask me what are feelings. I don't think i am able to answer you about that. Perhaps i am way far too out into my own world...

ask yourself this:

have you tried, falling down, getting a huge ugly wound on your leg. you struggled to get up and walk again. yet some mean guys were beside you, pushing you down or were practically rubbing salt into your wound. The pain is so intense. Intensed until you don't know what's pain anymore. cause you are already numbed...

don't blame me for being cold hearted. i just don't know what are feelings. my heart is hard as a stone. i can smile at everything now. nothing hurts me anymore. nothing touches me anymore.

looking forward

2007-10-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

perhaps because i always looking behind when i walked. i have never realised anything that is in front of me. probably only occasionally looking at sides. but never the front. from today onwards, i will be looking forward and no more behind.

yesterday evening, met marilyn for shopping. help her choose a bag and a jacket. wa. saw loads of shuai ge there. and i saw this damn cute guy, i really really felt like going up to him to say hi. too bad he was with another friend. LOL. we shop, eat, buy until legs wanna come out le. hehe. fun fun! alan called, too bad you never asked me out earlier. hehe. :p

went back to yishun, met jona and jl at mac. they two really loads to talk cock. blah. then cz called around 1+, 2. say he emo so asked him over. then we went to drink a bit, walked over to nee soon east cc. laid at the basketball court talk cock until 5am then went home. wa. shag ok? LOL. but was fun.

updates

2007-10-06T02:15:00.000+08:00

it has been long since i last updated. had been very busy with my work, school and my dearest pillow recently. kinda routine, the things i do. travelpac, dotbox, RP, lab, bed. LOL.

today went out with the yahui and huiling. so long never go out with them. and they are still as blur as ever. =p and we went to geylang serai to walk walk. not bad. i went to get a henna tattoo. they both got one on their ankle. i wear sneakers, so not practical to get one on ankle. LOL.

i have realised something and i feel very very blessed. i am lucky to have today. though i still miss the past, but i still have to admit. i have a very good father and brother. though we are almost strangers, yet they can give the warmth that many longed for. heard a song from the past today. Big big girl by emma, if i'm not wrong. haven't realised time passed so fast. haven't realised i am now a big girl. i still miss her... ALOT.

and i am blessed with my good buddies that loves me like angie, jona, marilyn, cz, darling. =) best frens forever ppl.

=) =)

2007-09-30T14:43:00.000+08:00

yst was a long long day. zzz. early in the morning, went to meet ivan and keith. talked about my new webby. cz is currently on his long long break, so only left with me and dotbox. hehe. i shall jia you! cz, i will wait for you to come back.

so went to meet ivan and keith, talked about the webbie and went to see some site location. then meet jereme and did some site recee. met jo and jereme to start planning on new events. met mag. had dinner with them.

lovey dovey

2007-09-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

wahahahah. jus finished tsubasa. cool cool. mokona is cute!!!

yst was a fun fun day in sch. :p class isn't that bored cause got fun classmates. finally. i hope everyday is thurs. tues also not bad. got alan(lim) in class too. fun fun fun. =)

yst after school went out with yahui. suppose to meet jonathan but meeting him on sat instead. went to eat 1A curry puff!!! then we went to watsons walk walk, went to perfume shop. weee. so long nvr go out with classmates. fun fun.

went home orh orh. slept until close to 9pm then nicky called. met him in yishun, went makan. just that morning, he was telling me how nice and bright the moon is going to be. then we saw it last night! LOL. cool cool.

early in the morning alan(lim) came to IM me. chey. i thought what he wants. so nice. invite me to his POLITE game. okie. no problem. jia you! i will bring my darling along. =)

tuesday

2007-09-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

today is not bad a day. pearly is quite fun. today same team as luke and alan(lim). i know alan's twin brother!!! hehe.

had skit in class today. then went to hala hala ian a bit cause ask him help me print poster. hehe! my "daddy" is nice guy ok? he offered to bring it down to me tonight since i need it tomorrow. wahahahah.

continue slacking in class, then eric and wenjie also need help printing poster. after school, met jona went makan and walk walk a bit. am meeting ian and cz only at 9pm at amk hub. blah. so late so long. so we slacked at the park up the hill a bit. then realised is moon cake festival!!! walked over to take bus around 8+pm to amk hub. met cz at the bus stop. so qiao. wahahahha. guess wat "daddy" says? he say my designing and photoshop has improved! weee. of course. ian teaches well. and i got learn from a tiny little bit from alan also de lorz. i am observant. :p

poster turned out well. -proud-

wish me luck! =)

monday

2007-09-25T00:18:00.000+08:00

monday blues. woke up at 8+am cause jona called say want pon. in the end he also nvr pon. zzz. then woke up again at 9+, david ask me go down help out. i orh orh orh, in the end woke up at 10+am, darling call me say she pon. so i woke up brush teeth, wash up, packed, then went to woodlands. called jona out for lunch, then we went walk walk at causeway point before going back to sch with him.

went to IT helpdesk to collect darling's lappy while i did my PP poster. left sch at ard 3, went to causeway point get fyp ingredients. slept all my way on the bus to tpac. again new guy. zzz. finished my poster in the office then talked abit with albert. went over to boon keng for dinner. ahh. full full. nice pu tien food. on the way home, alan called me. then chat with him the whole way. hehe. at least have one day no need to day dream while walking home.

that day mr chia was telling me abt ghost stories in army. he say if i know any guys whom have finished army, i should go ask them for stories. hehe. so i asked alan. not bad. got quite a few interesting ones. =)

nice song

2007-09-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

爱错
王力宏

北风好不留情
把叶子吹落坠落
的它他选择的逃脱
叶子失去小心
风才感觉寂寞
整个冬天
北风的痛没人能说
我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过所以爱错
我从那里起飞
从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错却不能从来过

翻开回忆角落
忘记的生活
以为幸福都可以掌握
仔细回味当初那个故事背后
喔原来是我
犯下从没真的爱错
我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过所以爱错
我从那里起飞
从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错却不能从来过...
真的受未你的世界
喔...找不会那些感觉
其实我不想到别
那些过去
我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过(从来没有爱过那么认的)
我从那里起飞从那里降落(降落)
多少不能原谅的错却不能从
从来没想过
我会这样做从来没爱过(爱过)
所以爱错(所以爱错)
从那里起飞(爱错爱错爱错baby)
从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错
请你原谅我的爱错

fun day again

2007-09-23T15:21:00.000+08:00

yst was homeclub party.

firstly, happy birthday to joanna!!! and sakinah!

people at homeclub are lovely. especially that quiet cute guy whom i thought he was a dao kia. but as the night went on, thought he was much friendly than others. =)

yst was totally crazy. was at the reception with ivan(chang). was pretty boring initially cause little crowd. so i shuttle between finding jl and jona with reception table.

tiffy and her fren came!!! happening! weeee! finally i get to club with tiffy. and i got to know 2 more new frens. amanda and doris. intro them to the guys, so that the 2 girls can help me entertain the guys while i am stuck with ivan. LOL. i tink my reception there got some errors lah. stupid ivan nvr bring mouse and i had no laptop with me. never mind.

then during my break, went in to find the guys. =) then we drank a bit, waited for the girls to come back and then we hit the DANCEFLOOR! omg omg omg. i tink i found the right people to come le lahz. they were all so a bunch of crazy people. they are happening!!! wahhahaha. then we sang happy birthday song to sakinah. seriously, i don't really like to club lorz. but 1st time ever in my life, i really enjoyed it like siao. perhaps because the people i was with are the people whom i am close with. weee!

after our event ended, pulled ivan in as well. the dancefloor only left those 18 yrs and above. and only my group was dancing. me, cz, tiffy, sakinah, jl, jona, ivan, eddy. i love them loads man. we rock totally. we were plain crazy. esp jona and jl. they 2 like monkeys like tat. then the DJ even came down to dance with us. LOL.

a pity nicky didn't make it. otherwise it would have been more happening!!! after that we left the club around 4+am. carried all the logistics back. so much to carry. walked over to mac at raffles place. makan there. guess who i saw??? latha and shamili!!! sec sch frens. LOL. so anyway, we slacked at mac till 6am then took cab back. cz with jeremy. me, jl and jona. tiffy, sakinah and ivan. and all the logistics were with me. = = thanks jl for helping me with the logistics. lol. he quite pro-ling ok. after dancing so madly all night, he still had energy to carry everything back for me. :x LOL. 2 acrylic displays, 2 pull up banners and extension cords.

lastly, thanks ivan for helping out at the reception. thanks jeremy and jo for the wonderful crowd. thanks tiffy for helping out with accounts. thanks jona, jl and eddy with the logistics. =)

fun day!

2007-09-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

yst had no sch but still woke up very very early in the morning. made my way to tpac to help out in the store. they have so so so many orders that they can't cope. phew. worked from morning to evening. happening man. had fun working with them once again. mr chia was telling me ghost stories from army days. lol.

around in the noon, wasn't really pleased with what someone said. lucky i have jona by my side. =) thanks buddy. argued with cz again. don't know what happened. why he accused me of saying things to her. WHEN DID I EVER. paul say this paul say that. he say u listen. i say u don't. why the fuck, he doesn't even dare to talk to me? weird people. can't be bothered.

in the evening, albert see me sian sian asked me to join him and his frens for karaoke session. didn't want to feel left out so i asked nicky along. thank goodness i asked nicky along cause albert's frens left early. it would have been so so odd if only left 2 of us. didn't really sing yst. albert say i was just niaming the lyrics. nicky offered me a job as his sai-gong. = =

can you believe it? we finished 1 bottle of martell. wootz. but still could walk properly lah. where will i be drunk so fast. anyway, thanks loads, albert and nicky for the company. soon around 3am+ albert left. so only left nicky. LOL. we stayed for awhile more till 4am. damn cool. then we were at lucky chinatown. LOL. met a drunkard around there whom kept chasing us wanting to vomit on us. = = damn stoopid lah. then we 2 run run run. damn drama lorz. ok, u won't want to know what happened next. but anyway, we walked to central then went home. too bad he stays at tampines. so far.

but still, thanks for the crazy night.

truth and the past

2007-09-22T05:57:00.000+08:00

recently i have uncovered some truths
something i shouldn't know at all
perhaps it was a coincident...
for me to know and find out
it was shocking when he admited it
because all along i believed in him
perhaps it is half truth?
he asked me whether i will still accept him
after knowing his past
well... yes, i will
i know he is struggling now
but no matter what he chooses
i will still be happy for him

i was in my past

2007-09-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

suddenly i thought i was living in my past for the past 3 days. LOL. partly because of the people i met.

was at clariant on monday and tuesday. tuesday was their opening ceremony. was glad it was good. thanks the interns for their help, and i made new friends. xuan hao, kaiwen and zhirong. =) and guess who i met in clariant? jinlong. that's why i say, for awhile i thought i was living in my past. he hasn't changed much. he is still the same and i am glad that he is. everything seemed so familiar. the messages. the concern. and his well wishes. still the same. how time flies. so fast it has been a year...

at night, when to muhe's concert in nafa. miss him so so so much. it has also been a year since i last saw him. even though i have heard him on cello before when he performed for us, this is the 1st time i see him on a stage. finally after he asked me to go so so so so many times, i went. and i am glad that i went. he also. hasn't changed much. he is lovely!!! after his concert, went to eat tau huay, drank 2 cups of soy milk and then we talked for quite long then went home.

today went to food lab to do ice cream. morning still quite ok lah. the more i do, the more pain i felt in my stomach. finally after lunch, i really bth le. i thought i could just collaspe in the food lab. thank goodness got cz, darling and buddy around!!! yukata. and buddy was so nice. =) he sent me home. thanks buddy. i appreciate it alot.

anyway, i am on facebook. hahaha. i only have 4 friends. so if u are on facebook, do add me. =) anyway, darling sent me a fluff(fren). so cute. i adopted a tofu because it is cute!!! and simple. LOL. jona named it for me. guess it's name. i laughed when i saw it. it's call bei chi wo tofu. LOL

a mirror shows truth.
it can reveal the ugly side of you.

secret uncovered

2007-09-11T00:47:00.000+08:00

saturday was at ymca for some stoopid conference. hmmm... kinda boring. though had company of paul, cz and nora. nora please smile more. =) hurts to see a bubbly girl so sad. you still have us with you. nicky sibei dua pai. suppose to reach at 1.15pm, he reached only close to 3. LOL. anyway, as usual, his talk was fun. so after conference went out with him and the guys to orchard. walked a bit. talked alot. ate abit. jiemei, thanks for the advice. and the little help. =)

sunday rotted at home, spent my whole day sakuraing. am so engrossed with the anime. I SIMPLY LOVE IT.

today quite a slacky day. suppose to meet alan and winson at IP. lol. but in the end pang sey them. sorry sorry. did a bit of work. met up with cz and paul. more work. zzz. went to woodlands library rotted a bit. borrowed a book. haven't start on it yet.

i've stumbled on to something today... online. a secret. discovered something private about him. LOL. i guess i shouldn't say much. but this verifies wat he told me was true.

can quite guess what's the ending between him and that girl cause he told me a bit. and for the girl, all i can say, it might be infaturation because at that point of time, he happened to be there. just like what happened to me and wind. he was just nice, there, when i thought i have lost everything. and somehow, i thought i really loved him. but who knows? perhaps she really loved him?

anywhere, i found this damn sweet song in her blog.

=)

all about you
金莎

在一个人相遇的时候
我不该想起你
月亮照在深深的海底
我快不能呼吸
一个人躲在冷冷潮湿的房间里
我可能相信
忽冷的哭泣
又快想到你
在一个人相遇的时候
我开始想起你
月亮照在深深的海底
我就快要窒息
不能在一个潮湿的黑暗的房间里
我可能相信
忽冷的哭泣
不能忘记你
i believe i believe
someday you be later with me
我的心丢掉了你
还有什幺能相信
i believe 我相信
someday you're stay with me
直到某年某天i can be you love
it's all about you

long weeek

2007-09-10T03:01:00.000+08:00

yeah, i guess i haven't been updating for quite long. hmmm... did much.

have been quite a dazed mode recently. don't ask me why. but seems like i thought i have been having it for quite awhile, but i seemed to have lost it. or rather, it's different now.

i think probably i was trapped between past, present and future again. sometimes i really feel i want to stay in the past for as long as i can. perhaps is because i can't see what's my future is bah. yeah, u can say i am afraid of the future.

i realised the more i grow, the more i "hate" the people around me. i think i am keeping more and more to myself. you know there are times, u really hate opening up because even u did so, the person doesn't understand you, so why should u even do that. you get more hurt. don't u?

i only wish that things were simple?

super busy week

2007-09-05T12:25:00.000+08:00

super super busy months coming ahead. am preparing for 2 events coming up. yesterday went to meet a client at jurong. GUESS WHO I SAW??? jinlong. apparently his industrial attachment is in the company which i am going to do an event with. OMG OMG. lol. ok. cool cool.

anyway, have been spending time with my team mates. monday, nicky came over to my office to make some noise. work was pretty good. dinner at amk hub with the gang.

yesterday was ok. went to mediacorp to support bangjun. bangzhi's bro. ok lah. nothing impressive. only like ivy lee. hehe. and tay ping hui. LOL. and pan ling ling stays near me. i know where is pan ling ling's house. hehe. went home, then met the girls for some chat. hehe. =)

*enjoying every moment I have*
*leaving it in my memories*
*so that there's always you in me*

hp spoil

2007-09-03T02:29:00.000+08:00

oh man. hp spoil. damn sian. now using back my sony ericsson.

dreamt of my mum again. the whole dream seems so real. seems like telling me something. or perhaps i am just thinking too much? eh? LOL.

but the feeling with them was damn good. makes u feel very bless.

finally finish watching coffee prince. lol. makes me think of something recently. hehe. my ex bball captain got married recently. she's 23. and her husband is 30. LOL. then heard that cz's good fren also got married. she's 19 this year and he is 28? hmm... seems like people like to get married young recently? and to older guys. LOL. what's cool about an older guy? mature? rich? LOL? nahz... i still think it's the chemistry that is important. and perhaps when he is able to give a sense of security. perhaps there is where maturity comes in? LOL. ok, i guess now i know why darling always wants to look for guys who are damn old.

but i think usually the guys around the age wants to get married soon? unless the girls don't have much thoughts in their future bah, then they can get married comfortably? hmmm... ok. random thoughts. guess what? my mum didn't really marry young though. but my dad is 8 yrs older than her. hmmm... LOL.

ok ok. it's night. no wonder. i am THINKING TOO MUCH. arrrgggg.

but why do these older guys like younger girls? won't they find us immature? and childish? i wonder...

2007-09-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

温柔
五月天

走在风中今天阳光突然好温柔
天的温柔地的温柔像你抱著我
然后发现你的改变孤单的今后
如果冷该怎么渡过
天边风光身边的我都不在你眼中
你的眼中藏著什么我从来都不懂
没有关系你的世界就让你拥
有不打扰是我的温柔
不知道不明了不想要为什么我的心
明明是想靠近却孤单到黎明
不知道不明了不想要为什么我的心
那爱情的绮丽总是在孤单里
再把我的最好的爱给你
不知不觉不情不愿又到巷子口
我没有哭也没有笑因为这是梦
没有预兆没有理由你真的有说过
如果有就让你自由

super busy week and am officially drained

2007-09-01T02:45:00.000+08:00

sunday just finished an event. sianz. tuesday had to hand in Professional Profiling and SAC's module crafting. chiong till siao on monday though super dead tired after event.

tuesday continued chionging the stupid module and hand in PP. went to toa payoh to teach some k1 kids science. i like this boy call justyn. he is ultra cute. he sticks to me like as if he is my son. LOL. then after toa payoh had a meeting with yalin then went over to clementi to find scottz. and omg! scottz will only be back home at 10.30pm. zzz. so i waited for him until 10.30pm.

went to school for fyp on wed. went home sleep after tat. finally can slp a bit.

thurs suppose to go down to office but ended up in NLB drenched because tiffy and cz not going down. sianz. so i went to NLB, finish up my PP, sent, did some work, msn and waited till 3+pm then finally remembered i am suppose to meet kenny. = = so i took bus to somerset, met paul then went to meet kenny at cine. guess what? kenny is my sec sch good fren and ex-colleague whom happens to be paul's pri sch good fren. so in the end, cz and tze wei joined us for movie as well. and guess what? tze wei knows paul. LOL. ok. is an ultra linkage thing. so yup, went to watch evan almighty then had dinner. kenny going to china soon. awww... and guess what? kenny is still as cool as ever.

and today, i am super pek chek. because whole day i got so misunderstood. no, i do not have loads of IgE. but am really misunderstood. morning, made my way to marina square. cool. chocolate team to pei me. *happy* then edmund(RP) came also. liesbet mistook us just because i said hi to him. = = then edmund keep asking me about benjamin when i don't really speak to him. HOW WOULD I KNOW HOW IS HE??? *note, edmund and benjamin is in the same class, idiotic right?* ok, then ice cream demo. talked to people. answered questions. alan came down support. then more free ice cream. ended about 6pm then went off. went to suntec to makan.

after makan, cz insisted on going to connection night and he dumped his stupid bag with me. WTH!!! i didn't go cause i wore very casual. then nicky called me asked me want supper a not. happens that he was in somerset and i was in dhoby gaut. so we met at dhoby gaut. he didn't go connection night as well cause initially he was suppose to meet supplier but that supplier put his aeroplane. so nicky had his dinner, and my supper. then paul called said he was around the area. matthew called asked want to chill out at 800+ anot. so ok. but had to wait for that stupid cz. so nicky and i walked PS and cathay for don't know how long until we sat there stoning, looking at guys. LOL. then finally we decided to go find cz at smu. gosh. big mistake. i think. was suppose to be a silent appearance become grand appearance. OMG. and tat stoopid ken. = = wa lau. so many things to say. nicky and i are jie mei cannot mehz. 1 guy + 1 girl = couple mehz. omg. since the last connection night i went till now lorz, they still saying. DOTS.

worst. paul came to pick us up because we going to meet matthew. wa. sad. even more misunderstanding. -jumps down-

ok. dun want say le. haiz. NO!!!!

i am the coolest girl!

2007-08-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

ok. i lied. or rather, i am just joking. pardon me. firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULIE PAUL! okie...

coming weeks will be super busy for me. wootz. how to breathe? save me. =) anyway, woke up early, damn early. made my way to clementi. am suppose to meet this guy call trevor. will be doing a 4 weeks training for his kids. 15 drop out kids whom are returning back to school after the holidays. weee. fun fun. will be training them in loads of things. =) looking forward. meeting was long. zzz.

then, went for lunch with daddy cause gor gor is a blur sotong. nvr mind. anyway, after lunch, went down to woodlands, vista point. will be having an event there tomorrow. and know what? i think i am working with the coolest bunch of people. =) beginning to love my life this way. i reached there super early. about an hour early. so i slacked there, reading papers first while waiting for the rest to come. paul called, said he is fetching cz and darling. so asked me go with him, since he was already in woodlands. so went to picked them up. met tiffy and the 2 new eye candies. they are simply cute. WAHAHAHHAA. but then got air. don't like.

so anyway, after interviewing that 2 guys, 1 gemini, 1 taurus, we started our events logistics. and i tell u. I AM DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF! being a non physics student, i take pharmaceutical and not electrical engineering, i managed to do WIRING today! wahahahah. as in, making a plug. WAHAHHAA. soon, i am going to be a man. oh shit. and i tink tiffy and darling is cool too. because we 3 are superwomen. wahahahah. -proud proud-

weird day

2007-08-24T12:47:00.000+08:00

i have a super weird day today. woke up, albert called me. then marcus. then i started watching my new drama, I'm sorry I love you and crafted modules.

then i did nothing but to watch the drama until around 4. nicky called. chat awhile. wanted to ask me go watch movies but i already meeting someone later. so told him another day. then he damn funny. keep digging news from me. he is interested in I WON"T TELL YOU who. LOL. he is scaring people off. :x yikes. and then gossip a bit. then i went to sleep. sleep until around 6pm, woke up, nicky online.

dressed up, chat until 7pm then left. took 851 since still got time. met yaya on the bus. he looks pinkish. LOL. reached amk. was kind of lost but managed to make my way to the station. then met him. made our way back to jubilee. then tiffy called, said she and cz saw me at amk hub. wth. they 2 eating pepper lunch. bo jio!!! ok, anyway ate western food. the rasa sayang is not bad. don't know where is the botak jones. i've always like the mushroom sauce at rasa sayang. weee. very special. anyway, it rained. wa, see everyone run. so funny. and then the coffeeshop was flooding. so after dinner, moved to MOS burger. safer. but is cold. drinking corn soup again. wahahahaha. corn soup rocks. then stayed there talked until 10.30pm. took mrt back.

nicky called again, on my way back. he was also on his way back home. then he so excited. ask me about my outing. then he gossiped something with me. wa, thanks sis (yup, he is my jie mei). for helping me. xin ke ni le. ;) went home, guess who IMed me? AI KE!!! omg. so long never hear from him!!! i thought he already got enlisted into army. chey. going in only on 13 sept. anyway, he made me do advertising for him... SO:

any single girls who is interested in knowing a 21 years old cute, decent, funny guy who can give up loads of romantic surprises, let me know.

LOL. i realised something. ever since the last time i went out with him and beji on his bday, he was telling me, his birthday wish is to look for a gf and up till now, he still hasn't found one. pro-ling.

anyway, anyone knows of a nice 25 years old guy who is NOT AN ARIES, let me know too. ;) cause darling say i know alot of older guys, ask me help her find. wahahahaha! ok ok. i admit. is i say i help her find. :x

i have a new love =)

2007-08-23T00:39:00.000+08:00

my new love. =) i so want to get it!!!

my 19 years old ambition:

2007-08-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

is to be an armed robber...

ok, not saying why yet. updates later. talk about yesterday first. yst was fun! morning, woke up damn early, made my way to airport sent a friend off to denmark then went over to expo meet wai keong, wei cong, jeryl, yong liang, andrea, choon hou, leslie, faith, delicious jacob. suppose to meet them for church services. don't ask me why am i there. am there because

1) it's cool to see how a church service looks like in Max Pavillion

2) i've never been to a service before

3) because choon hou wants me to be there

ok... i appreciated my shi fu's blessing because he has always known of my situation and is very encouraging and has been looking after me well before and after my mum left. so yup, am grateful for him. so i went.

shan't say so much about the church service, so anyway, evening, back to changi airport. slacked at Mac waiting for cz and paul. finally see paul back from batam. sat down, talked a bit about serious stuff then we settled for dinner. guess where we went for dinner? pulau ubin! for seafood. the boat ride was damn cool. =)

pictures!!!

paul busy taking photo of Singapore. he's planning getaway route for today after our armed robbery

cz missing s'pore already. but still smiling because he is happy with our planned $5 loot

as long as i am out of s'pore, i'm happy. =)

so, we planned our armed robbery for today at pulau ubin during dinner. then, we went back to s'pore. met william, zhi cong and teck for soccer match. watched asernal match, man city vs man u and liverpool bs chelesa match. not bad, has been long since i last watched soccer. then went back home, sleep.

this morning woke up early, BIG DAY! so excited. about the armed robbery. went to causeway point in the noon, met darling and paul for lunch. then we went back to school. am suppose to complete my PP by 28th aug. still struggling. am still proud of myself. completed 1/4 of it. weee. not going for classes anymore. self declare holiday since no more ut.

slacked in the library all the way, did some PP, watched superstar avenue, watched crazy for you ep 14, 15, 16 1/2. walked over to BK at causeway around 8 for dinner. few more hours to my armed robbery. sibei EXCITED.

after dinner, took 856. ok... THIS IS THE MOMENT! paul, cz and i were sitting at the back of the bus. i was reading newspaper while paul and cz were engrossed with a conversation about girl (yeah, you don't have to know who but it's definately not me). then this guy at the back of the bus, sitting behind us, suddenly came to the front and scolded us vulgarities. i stared at him blankly. then he said:

"you chinese think u very great. u fuckers are nth. s'pore is rule by malay and indians (i didn't noe LKY and LHL is malay/indian at all. must be the reason why i failed history!), you all also dunnoe. bloody fuckers. blah blah. -following conversation is all about how shitty chinese are-

i am a police. i show u my warrant card -shows card- (can't really see cause is too far for me to see). i have the power to arrest you all. -blah blah, more vulgarities-"

then he walked to the front, hit the pole with his hand and settled at the front seat. continued with my paper while the guys back to their convo. (we don't give a damn)

suddenly at senoko light, bus slowed down. saw him talking to the bus driver. then the bus driver and him approached us. he open the back door with the emergency button, door didn't batch, so he kicked. then he shouted at us:

"you 3 get down now! i have police coming over in 5 mins. i suspect you 3 are doing an armed robbery in the bus."

cz, serene, paul: "comeon! we are students from Republic Polytechnic. rob what? what's there to even rob in the bus? you're kidding me?"

serene: "search lah! what weapons we have? -opens bag- use laptop rob arhz?"

cz: "use cable rob lahz"

him: "-kicks- get out now! i have the POWER here. i can arrest you. i have my warrant card. get out of the bus now. my police car is coming soon."

paul: " NO! WE ARE NOT GETTING OUT. why should we get down. warrant pass so? i want to see warrant of arrest. call police? u tink we scare? we call police also lahz. armed robbery..." -calls police-

him: "u 3 better get down, my police cars are here soon. -gets down of bus-

paul, serene: "UNCLE!!! CLOSE THE DOOR! START THE BUS. QUICK!!!!"

so yup... the end. we called the police, explained our situation, talked to the bus driver, went home laughed about it. why the fuck would we want to rob a bus with only 2 other passenger aside from the bus driver and that siao lang? how much can they give us? $5 for tomorrow's lunch? comeon. i am not stoopid and despo.

idiotic guy.

*PS: i did not plan a robbery. but the incident with that mad guy is real. and nope, the planning of armed robbery in ubin is fake too. = = don't be stoopid?

sweetest dreams =)

2007-08-18T16:02:00.000+08:00

blah. cz is mad. plain crazy. don't let me go de lorz. have gf, he also will emo. no gf he also will emo. aiyo. this xiao mei of his very ke lian. i want to complain!!! thurs night, went home, thought can sleep le. no lorz. still have to listen to cz's emo-ing. blah. paul ah, xin ku ni le. LOL! i pity us. LOL.

worst. stoopid darling, cz and paul! pang sey me in school. only me went to sch. -proud- see i so guai. blah. lucky i still got yahui to lunch with me. only 10 people in class. up till 9am, the class only had me and elf. cool lorz. super slacked in class. spent my time sleeping and crazying for you. finally the torturous class ended.

not happy with RP. it is a retarded poly. blah. i want to take events logistics and they give me bioinfomatics. don't even let me choose other alternatives somemore. i understand the class is full, that doesn't mean i want to take bioinfomatics. wth! damn du lan. STOOPID SCHOOL. and the Dr Girija is so funny. Read the emails:

Me:
Hi Dr Girija

May I enquire what is module A311? Are there any other options as I would like to take a module that is non-science.

Thanks

Her:
Bio informatics. No other non-science module is free

Me:
How about other science modules that are available?

Her:
Serene, There is no other science modules available. Please confirm in the table below if you are ok for A311 Bioinformatics.

She asked me to confirm whether i am ok with bioinformatics. NO! I AM NOT? otherwise why would i be interested in looking for alternatives? SIAO. wa, damn retarded lahz. the poly.

blah. bad mood for the rest of the day. went for ut. damn sleepy. finished very early, watched crazy for u till test finish. yeah, i know i am damn idiotic. LOL! after ut, went home put bag, freshen up, off off to city hall.

wa, city hall damn crowded lahz. gosh. what's so nice about fireworks that everyone wants to go see? OK. i should shut up, cause i am one of them. met him at raffles city then we walked over to marina square. i tell u something very funny. i can never ever understand why people like to see through their small screens from their hp to watch the fireworks. and funny thing is that they simply love taking pictures of it though they know their hp camera is never good enough to capture a beautiful shot of it. it looks like some colour ants crawling around? ok. they are funny. and then there's this group of guys standing beside us keep saying the fireworks display looks like the one in chinatown. eh... hello? how many different varieties of fireworks you want? u want see something new, go overseas see lahz. go to disneyland and watch. the best is there. omg, mickey mouse fireworks. can u imagine that? CUTE!!! they sound like cz. got fireworks also complain. no fireworks also complain. just thank LKY he hasn't ban fireworks in s'pore ok? LOL. :x

after fireworks, went to makan makan. it was already 10pm lorz. walked over to suntec to see what is left. settled for secret recipe. yum yum. i simply love the chocolate banana cake there. muacks. but still, the one in malaysia is cheaper. LOL. as usual, after dinner, talked awhile, then waited for the bus. NR1 pro-ling. waited for close to an hour then finally it came. lucky not much people taking. phew.

so anyway, quickly went to sleep and thank goodness no one came and disturb my needed sleep. phew.

blah blah

2007-08-17T08:31:00.000+08:00

wa, perhaps i should study less. LOL. just checked my grades, got another A for my UT. =) weird. haven't seen As for so long ever since year 1. so sleepy now and the weather is so so good. how i wish i can stay at home, on my bed, sleeping while continue dreaming. wahahahahha

anyway, yesterday went to woodlands, met marcus gor gor for lunch. i am such a bad sis. haven't been talking to him since i started out in year 3. catch up with him again. pretty cool. had pizza hut. then went to library slacked a bit, checked out on some details.

took 168, slept on the bus all the way to bedok. bedok looks cool. haven't been there before. LOL. lucky i never lose my way and the DBS bank there is cool. cause the teller was so nice and i am going to have a DBS account. =) soon...

went over to expo, met francis, passed him payment, spoke a bit. then heading back to town. i had this strangest occurrence with this executive looking cute guy on the train platform. i was engrossed with my novel when he sat beside me. i looked up to look how much time more will the train arrive then he was like looking at me. so our eyes met, then he smiled. i was like HUH??? "do i know you" face. anyway, i can't be bothered, continue reading. and then he continue looking. DOTS.

reached NLB around 5.30pm, very early. only meeting him at 6.30pm. so sat around, read my book first. today so good, i was not late, neither was he. LOL. and he bought almond cream from 甜品屋, ok i don't know what's the dessert house's name but i like calling it tian pin wu. had dinner oppo at the taiwan delight, walked around parco, then settled at tcc because he is supposed to brainstorm for his project. but i tink ended up talking more than brainstorming. oops. went home around 11.15pm. had fun!!! =)

then cz called me, he emo-ing. blah.

blah

2007-08-16T01:23:00.000+08:00

ok... sorry to the people whom tolerated to my attitude. lol. thanks for understanding. am rather pissed with some things but i think i am fine now.

yesterday was supposed to do my journal club but stoopid woodlands library and the librarian. LOL. so met thomas and jiawen for lunch at yoshinoya. then later, we walked around metro. then darling wanted to watch show so went up to cinema to see see. settled for 881. still had time and paul spotted plug at banquet. Interesting. so quickly plug in my lappy and did some work since i will be home late. 881 was nice. =) i aspired to be "ling yi". she must be the best events coordinator i ever seen. LOL. met cz after the show, went to city hall met jerome for dinner. went home after dinner. continued journal. almost killed myself. blah. horrible soybean and shitake. :x okie.

this morning woke up early went for journal presentation. think i want to kill myself. LOL. horrible + terrible. but still ok lah. better than the last one. oh! ian wanna foster this little girl here. LOL! i have such a young and cute dad? :x LOL! okie. i am fortunate? went down to travelPAC. sadded. albert not around. stick around for awhile. saw a bag tempting. hee hee. nice nice. went dinner at canteen then took bus to orchard. went cineleisure walk few rounds, and saw nice laptop casing in i21 shop. damn cool. and i saw golla. sad. my golla outdated le. but i have a new nice nice bag from travelPAC. :p

accompanied tiffy to tampines then took bus home from there. stoopid right? but i had fun. zzz. sian. tmr need to go down to bedok find francis before he stars chopping me into pieces. LOL. so far!

save cz. he is crazy in love. LOL

it's freaking tired

2007-08-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

serene isn't as strong as you think so. stop bloody hell forcing me into the corner that i hate. it is really getting too much sometimes. by not voicing out doesn't mean i don't mind or don't care. you just don't know me well. please stop forcing me.

if you think things are really that easy, you are so wrong. no. stress is not self-induced. it is people like you whom keeps forcing people into corners. i maybe silent. but really. i can't take it anymore. just leave me alone.

don't let me lose this tiny hope when i thought i saw hope. please don't do this. mummy... don't do this to me.

"crazy for you"

2007-08-14T01:39:00.000+08:00

someone please save me. i am having "crazy for you" craze. LOL. the drama i should say is damn nice and the soundtrack is damn emo.

i want to look for the songs for crazy for you. =) nice nice.

blah.

=)

2007-08-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

went to find mummy yesterday. have to say after so many months, really felt more relieved when i spoke to her. at least it settles my mind a bit, let me relooked at my direction.

after finding mummy, went to bugis with paul and cz. boring. talk about work again. after work, walked around a bit went queens st for lunch then the 2 guys wanted to sing suddenly. so we walked over to party world at somerset. yesh, from bugis walk to somerset. ask me. i know my way best. =)

sang till 12.30am. yesh, i'm not a lover of singing cause i dun like singing aloud. LOL. but had fun lah yesterday. cz tried to get me emo, but too bad, he failed. went home sleep.

have been thinking about some things. LOL. yeah, i love to think alot. so, yup was thinking about some things. can be good, can be bad. but anyway, i don't know what sort of future we will have, but still hoping for the best? =)

emo-ing

2007-08-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

ok. don't ask me why. but just feel so so bored. or perhaps, empty bah?

missed her greatly. missed drinking soups. missed cooking for her. missed washing clothes. have just realised serene can never be that serene again. it's never the same anymore.

am watching crazy for you. is a super good korean movie. and i like chae joon in it. but after watching that, makes me damn emo. BLAH.

missing her loads. i think tomorrow i shall go and pray to her. the temple is always so peaceful. =)

weekends

2007-08-11T02:17:00.000+08:00

oh, so fast weekends is here again. have realised this week has passed so fast. =)

class was boring, zzz. creative media enterprise. yikes. most hated module currently. go or don't go class doesn't makes much difference.

current travelPAC loot: new ladies' mouse and earpiece. =) weee. simply love them loads. i think they should get me to be their spokesperson soon. almost everything also travelPAC. waiting for them to make laptops only. kidding.

after school, went back to science class for test. weee! still my class is better. =) more active in it. blah. pharmacotherapy. pretty good i think. straightforward. i like.

went marina square after school for dinner and shopping. was taking dinner then i saw thomas, audrey, clement and michelle!!! wa, see thomas excited cause he never joined us for lunch for 2 days! after dinner, chatted awhile, shopped, slacked at starbucks. wa, enjoyed myself today. didn't know we have commons. LOL. anyway, hope you have enjoyed yourself too. =)

goodnight!

不能说的秘密

2007-08-09T16:19:00.000+08:00

was reading twinnie's blog then came across this song. thought it was nice. =)

不能说的秘密
周杰伦

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

Headstart

2007-08-09T15:30:00.000+08:00

after days of preparing for it, i guess, it is finally over. programs ran well. first time working with this team, and i think i like working with them more. everyone takes initiative. and i simply love the valent. LOL. she's a total B*tch.

anyway, as usual, geena is not my crowd. saw loads of familiar faces. i think i enjoyed it at the end of the day though i wasn't on the dance floor. was either hiding in the room with tiffy, or talking to the jacksons at the staircase or outside talking cock with nicholas, william and valent. i think it's much more fun like this. =)

buddy and jinlong came to see. so did alan and jerome. LOL. like i say, we are too old for these geena crowd. but i am still amazed by some people who were clearly overage yet still loving the crowd here. LOL.

*smiles*

had been a long time

2007-08-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

ok. getting more stressed up with work with a lesser yet more effective batch of people. manpower wise, seems like we are always lacking but i am enjoying this new team alot. i think things looks better this way.

i think in every point of life, no matter how jinx it is, i think somehow or rather there will be a tiny bit of sweetness.

and i know where the sweet part of my life comes from. =)

Secret

2007-08-04T13:10:00.001+08:00

yesterday was a real hectic day. and i know liesbet isn't pleased with my performance in class. woke up like a zombie, practically no sleep at all. worst. dreamt of myself commiting suicide. LOL. ok, thursday night i really went crazy. feeling much better now.

i think i should relax more, if time allows. LOL. had fyp rehearsal. think not bad, considering i was smoking through it. after school, had ut. shagged. really damn sleepy. slacked a bit with darling and cz.

after school went out met alan and jerome. took dinner, played dota, watched movie. ahhh... have been so long since the last i played dota. even though jerome kept owning at first, after several "cheats", alan and i managed to own him. LOL. after that, met marilyn, went to eat a bit first before going for movie. we watched Secret. pretty nice movie. nice twist. nice music. and i like the girl. looks sweet.

and you know what? i really miss marilyn and angie alot. =) so glad i am catching up with them these days.

so overall, i think it is a pretty nice day lahz.

anyway, thanks ian, keng wi and albert for the concern. YES, i am much better now. coping well.

fucked up life

2007-08-03T01:11:00.000+08:00

i realised i have such a fucked up life. angie messaged me and we were catching up a bit. so she was saying she envied my life. and if you people do, please throw yourself into the rubbish bin now. i have a fucked up life.

today after school, went to find albert. was chatting and drinking with him. has been a long time since we done that. ever since i was caught up with work and the things i was doing, never really chatted with him again. so again, we were chatting about MY LIFE. don't know why today everyone wants to talk about my life.

don't ever envy my life. you will never want it. you will never know how it feels to be confined in a room of 4 walls everyday, staying in a place that does not belong to you, facing some "family" one with violence genes, one who doesn't care at all, having to feed yourself and settle your own allowance, forcing you out of your home, and in school, facing a group of brainless people, besties that you think they are all so good but who are selfish beings, in company, face a monster boss who unintentionally nags at you everyday (not because of work), a group of brainless, work less, think they are so great, want to take high pay people and lastly brainless guys whom are all out to bluff you for sex.

gosh. really. you won't want to know what i dream of every night. i can only think of MONEY. how to earn enough to afford a shelter over my head, have myself fed, school fees, phone bills. everyday, i close my eyes, i asked god, where is fairness? there isn't fairness in this world. i hate to say it. really. i was a very devote buddhist so is my bro. but i don't quite agree with it now, with the things i faced and how an adverse effect it is on my bro instead of helping him. i simply think he is crazy, thinking that everything, there will be buddha's help. ok. i don't doubt buddha. but he isn't going to help people who don't help himself.

my mum's departure has really left me crippled in this world and showed me the cruelty in life. i used to be the princess of this house but after she left, i realised i am nothing at all but just someone who thinks she is a princess.

yup, you can go ahead saying serene is trying to get some pity. sorry, i am not. this is my blog. i write what i want and i am ranting. you want, you accept, you don't want, shut the fuck up. this is my life. welcome to my life.

seriously i hate this world so much, much rather this country, that i want to go jump down each time i thought of my fucked up life.

LOL. but if i were to jump down, i wouldn't have been able to drink with albert tonight?

ok. these are the people whom added sugar to my life: my dearest darling always understanding =), my shifu choon hou always praying for me, my best partner who is always so jian yi qi, my best boss ever albert whom i can always talk my problems with, my ever encouraging buddy angie

*i wished my hands and legs weren't that itchy walking this stoopid path with an idiot like a dumb ass*

omg omg omg

2007-08-02T10:44:00.000+08:00

omg! i can't wait for tomorrow!!! i can't wait for liesbet class!!! you know why you know why? LIESBET say i don't have to retain anymore because they are rescheduling my FYP presentation. OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

I DON'T HAVE TO RETAIN

busy busy

2007-08-02T08:44:00.000+08:00

so busy. so many things to do, so little time. was involved in the school's PM visit. quite cool though i don't agree with the school in some things, like not allowing me to display my prototype (2 bra sets + 1 mannequin), my award (it's a special bra set), asking me to come on wed and threatening us with CE points (which is what i can donate off).

1) i think my bras in the competition segment would potray RP's creative enterprise rather than it's a SENSITIVE issue
2) 2 ministers asked where's my prototype
3) jason tan was telling me about this faci who is threatening us with CE points if we don't come for the open house on wed. it's a big joke cause i dare say everyone at the competition booth DO NOT NEED CE POINTS. because (not boasting) but anyone who's booth is there, has already earned loads of CE points as we were school's representative.

so anyway, PM visit was fun. =) met PM Lee and nothing much fantastic though. happened to learn loads of things though. in events management. =) yeah yeah, i know, i work everywhere i go. cannot arhz? it's good to learn things to improve yourself. so after the whole event, went dinner with choon hou and the gang. it has been a long time since i last joined them and it was sure fun. i still love YE.

Sugar daddies... are there any out there?

2007-07-31T08:59:00.000+08:00

ok... there was this weird guy who messaged me in friendster asking me whether i want a job. i thought, cool? why not see what he has to offer. then he asked me whether am i interested to be a sugar babe. i was thinking, sugar babe? model? it sounds like one to me...

LOL! guess what? just take a look at the following convo:

matrix wrote:
this is matrix
The agent....
wonder if you are looking for part-time job??
Easy and fun... flexi working hours... very good pay...!
Replay if keen to try!!

Cheers..
Matrix

Serene wrote:
as?

matrix wrote:
Hi...
work as sugar babe..... is simple and fun......
will get at least $50 per hour.....
Please reply if keen to try....
May i know your age? height? weight?

Serene wrote:
what is sugar babe?
19yrs, 157cm, 39kg

matrix wrote:
hi hi Serene... is so simple... you will take care of a guy who is assigned to you as sugar dad, rich and educated.... you will hangout with him for short hours for dinner... movie... coffee..or drink.... thats all...it will be once or twice a week.....Payment in cash to you......May i know you open minded? smoke? or drink??

This is good job as you can arrange your outing time with him... can be anytime... as you wish.......Many poly girls are doing it for good $$$$.....The sugar dad will take care of you financially......Please let me have your hp no... will contact you via sms... for more details.....

so how... anyone interested to be a sugar babe? or interested to be my sugar daddy? :p i'm sure i can find better ones than the ones he find.

Blogthings!

2007-07-30T14:05:00.000+08:00

ok... am too bored in class... so i am playing blogthings.

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

New Years, at the crack of midnight, under a windstorm of confetti.

What's" Your Ideal Marriage Proposal?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. RightYou should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

You Make a Good First Impression

You probably are making a much better impression than you realize.Social situations can be a bit awkward for you at times, and you tend to over think what you say and do.If you make a social faux pas, you remember it a lot longer than anyone else does.
Just relax and do your best. There are little things you can do to improve your social image.Express more of an interest in the people around you, and be a good listener.The secret of fascinating people is that they find everyone else fascinating!

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

You Are Confident and Secure

You are practically immune to insecurity and self doubt.You're comfortable with who you are, and if someone doesn't like you - that's not your problem.Some people think you're too confident, but that's just their insecurities shining through.Your confidence carries you through your worst moments, because you know you'll always come out fine.

Are You An Insecure Girl?

You are a Playful Date

Your dating philosophy?"Fun first, romance later"You rather scream on a roller coaster...Then stare in to some guy's eyes over dinner.
Guys to look for:Men with humorous profiles and quirky interestsSure that business suit guy may look boring...But if he likes snowball fights, give him a try

What Kind of Dating Diva Are You?

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right.But you also know when to hang back and keep your "crazy chick" persona in check.In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it...You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act!

Are You a Daring Woman?

You Should Be In Atomic Kitten

Cute and stylish - you're the perfect little pop package.Oh, and you can sing a little too :-)

What Girl Group Should You Be In?

You'll Find Love Online

Dating in meatspace is way too complicated and time consuming for youYou rather find a ton of guys at the click of a buttonSo go on, and have some fun in your online dating adventureJust make sure perfectguy@mrright.com is who he says he is

Where Will You Find Your Dream Guy?

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an exOr maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guysEither way, you'll find a boyfriend in time...As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

Your Toes Should Be Dark Red

Sexy and a little dangerous, you give off a totally vampy vibe.
Your flirting style: Straight forward and seductive
Your ideal guy: Powerful and a little intimidating
Stay away from: Mama's boys

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

You've Got a Bit of a Crush

Maybe your guy friend is a crush of convenience - easy enough to happenDid you just break up with someone? Or are you more lonely than usual?If no to both, then this small crush could be the real deal.Find out if he feels the same - because he just might!

Are You Crushing on Him (And Don't Even Know It)?

You Are a Friendly Flirt!

You are quite the flirt, but you don't flirt with just anyone.And you hardly ever get caught, because your flirting seems so friendly.You've got a good thing going. Tons of friends, both guys and girls.And if you do decide to flirt, hardly anyone's the wiser. Pretty trick!

What Kind of Flirty Girl Are You?

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Inside you've got the passion and ideals of a teenagerAnd your intensity for life is what attracts most of the men you dateYou also like to party - and quite often you're the life of the partyYou've brought the best of your younger years with you... at least most of the time.

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

Your Scent is Key Lime

Sassy, real, and totally smoothYou're a total flirt who's always ready for a challenge!

What's" Your Girl Smell?

You Should Be With an Air Sign!

Your best match is a Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius
Why? You crave excitement and playful banterOnly an Air Sign can match your wit - and keep you on your toesAs for fun, an Air Sign guy will show you plenty� with tons of surprisesJust be sure to introduce him to some new playful experiences as well!

What Sign Guy Should You Date?

You Are a White Wine Woman

Breezy and casual, you know how to have fun when you're drinking.And even though you can kick back with a few drinks, you never let things get out of hand.Alcohol is not a social lubricant for you... it just enhances your already sparkling personality.You prefer to date a man who is optimistic, friendly, and funny.

What Kind of Drinking Woman Are You?

Hmmm... Maybe He's Interested!

He seems to be giving you mixed or muted signalsWhich may mean you've been giving him the wrong messagesWhen he pauses to notice you, give him a little more attention.A little encouragement may go a long way with this guy!

Is He Into You?

ok... i have infected jessamine. have been doing this whole darn thing throughout 3rd meeting. am so dead. haven't do RJ somemore and later got rehearsal for PM visit

part 2 while waiting for darling to finish her class

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay
"Look at the stars,Look how they shine for you,And everything you do,Yeah they were all yellow"
You're so in love, it's like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

You Are Sometimes Considered a Hot Chick

While you may not get the most offers in the room,You've got a good thing going - dating wiseYou could flirt more and dress up a bit to attract more guysBut in general, you are doing just fine!

Are You A Hot Chick?

You're Pretty Stupid

You got 5/10 questions right!It's probably time to get your head examined. You hardly know left from right.

Are You Stupid?

DOTS... so i am stoopid?

You Are 79% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word.You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

How Creative Are You?

rawr

2007-07-30T08:54:00.000+08:00

wat's there to blog here? nothing much happen bah. saturday, event day. woke up early went to amk hub, met ian. got the fliers from him then sat there waited for 1 hour + for the people.

finally met dotbox people and OPSS people. ok, not bad. people turned out to be better than i thought. got 4 xiao shuai ge. =) and of 4, i got 3 of their numbers. =) and that andy damn funny, only few seats behind him, still must sms me. LOL.

after the event, went back to my house put down things, changed then went dinner. after dinner walked over to paul's block for funeral. slacked there abit. nicky was around, 1st time see nicky in action. LOL. so long never see him. =)

wahahaha

2007-07-27T17:18:00.001+08:00

that time say so long, i finally go wretch!!! hehe. =) wretch is cool, chinese rocks!

crazy girl

2007-07-27T14:23:00.000+08:00

=) =) =) =)

i am just one crazy girl

it's still me?

2007-07-26T23:57:00.001+08:00

so after so many things... at the end, i am still the one who needs to compromise?

i don't care. if they want to be selfish, i shall be selfish too. you all under stress, as if i am not? hello! you want to compare my stress to your stress? blame me for you not being able to cope your stress well? that's funny. because of that, as if you are not adding pressure to me? you can go ahead, list the long list of diseases or illness you all have. you all don't even bother to ask for mine. all you think of me is a fucking healthy girl. i am not superwoman. i have said it more than 3 times and i mean it.

i am going to be as selfish as you all.

*i will leave. wait and see*

thanks for the call =) at least i smiled.

it

2007-07-26T23:57:00.000+08:00

no more serene

2007-07-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

from today onwards due to personal reason, i will not be known as serene unless in official issues. please either call me annares or wei ting. thanks

i hate happy people

2007-07-26T12:11:00.000+08:00

i don't understand why
some people's lives are always at envy
mine is definately not one to be envious about
why some kids they are born to be happy
and some are born to fight for their own happiness
yes, life is never fair
but this sort of life is torturing
whom they expect me to be
i am no superwoman
i am only a 19 year old without her mum
without anyone
my name is not serene yeo to start with
carrying this name is really tiring
i am starting to hate this name this home
i don't any purpose to continue anymore
ever since my mum has left
its all up to me, myself and i

trust me
i won't stay for long
dotbox have to grow
dotbox have to succeed
it is my only route to escape
from these tortures

i want to leave this fucking place asap

2007-07-26T01:10:00.000+08:00

I REALLY REALLY HATE MY MUM ALOT!! FOR LEAVING ME. I WANT TO LEAVE THIS BLOODY PLACE ASAP AND START ANEW.

I SEE NOTHING, NO REASON FOR ME TO STAY. REALLY. YOU CAN SAY I AM SELFISH. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THE KIND OF LIFE I AM LEADING NOW, DON'T BLOODY HELL COMMENT ON IT.

GO AWAY!

it's just so different suddenly

2007-07-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

now i understand why each time i want to migrate, starting my life anew. isn't it great? i am freaking sick and tired of what's happening here. fuck off if you ask me to live the way it is or this life.

it has been more and more desperate for me to leave this country? i really hate the surrounding. i hate hypocrites who can smile to you in front and behind they are just jerks. and i really hate the guys around me. i am not against them but any guys to do with dotbox, i just really don't like them.

give me a break! i need freedom. i need to leave this fucking place.

*the cake has lost its taste after some time*

*i really find it stupid that people put cakes in FREEZER*

*buzz off, don't touch me, I know who you are*

Findings

2007-07-24T11:18:00.000+08:00

each trip to the airport, is always a fruitful one. this time, i finally understand what i wanted and what i have been looking for.

Photo post!

2007-07-22T23:45:00.000+08:00

My birthday is here and over... So soon. blah. anyway, thanks to the following people in random order:

1) Alan - earliest to wish me and I am still waiting for your cake!
2) Jerome - alan and jerome comes together? so he's 2nd. LOL. thanks for the wine.
3) Darling - loving you so much. =)
4) Chengze - bro, you're the man!
5) Paul - yeah, thanks for the gift.
6) Yahui and Huiling - thanks girls for the gift as well
7) Kee Wei - besties forever, thanks for remembering my bday
8) Boonz - thanks for remembering
9) Muhe - mu mu, you still rocks as ever
10) Xiulin - thankies
11) Angie - best buddy ever =)
12) Hong Shen and Chun Kiat - wahahahah, though in army, still bother remembering, you 2 are the best =)
13) Twinnie - hey bro! is so rare to have such a brother who has same birthday and same year as you somemore
14) Daddy and gor gor for the nice nice food
15) Matthew for the impromptu wish
16) Zhao, Shawn and Eric - for their well wishes

So, no more talking, more photos:

Sunday, 22nd July

my cute cute snoopy

my bday cake

more snoopy

gift from paul, i think he almost bought the whole nina ricci set :x

from yahui, huiling and cz

Friday 20th July - Saturday 21st July

Ok, my day didn't start well. Told liesbet i couldn't attend FYP presentation, so the verdict was i have to fail my module and then retake G301 all over again = retain in rp for 6 mths. best birthday present ever. so wasn't really pleased with things but still managed to struggle through school then went home sleep. woke up around 8pm and started preparing to go to shangri-la. paul came over to help up, bought me and dad dinner. then started packing a bit. then waited for cz to join us. zzz, very slow. finally caught a cab and went to orchard, collect tiffany. then went to shangri la.

shangri la toilet near ballroom. super nice. has dressing table, sofa. wo! TOILET! didn't expect that.

reached there, met with jerome, still had an hour before the contractor comes and to my birthday ends. hence, we went over to the lobby to have some wine, on jerome's treat. =)

backdrop
booths
sticking the backdrop
ian doing the stickers

overall view

and a night of work, finally the event:

me, matthew and edmund doing the sound
jerome and i, i know i look a bit like security guard here? it meant dot box
tiffany and me

me in the hall. i have tired eyes, i know
i love this photo best
jerome and i acting cute
tiffany and me
GOH, Dr Ng Eng Hen

proud to be part of confluence =)

went to Brewerkz with the peeps after confluence. was damn shag and failed my module somemore. however, it was very fruitful. has really shown to people what serene is capable of and serene isn't playing toys anymore. told bro and dad about failing fyp, to my surprised they understood. glad they did not make much fuss. i think this is my most memorable birthday ever.

went to visit RedBar one of the days, forgot when... i think it was last thursday.

red bar interior. lovely. =)

cz, valentina, valent's bf and melissa tiff and me paul, tiff and me!

Huiling's birthday. bluffed her to marina square and we went to Han's to celebrate her bday. =)

my grilled dory
chicken chop and fish & chips
huiling in deyi's uniform
me looking so damn er xin
huiling!
huiling and me
me
handsome cz
shitake mushroom ice cream?

nice surprise is good surprise =)

2007-07-19T21:38:00.000+08:00

whole day damn busy with work. 21st is event. kan chiong time. everything needed to be settled. who cares about birthday? LOL. anyway, haven't been celebrating birthdays for so long, doesn't makes a difference. i missed her. she was warded on my birthday. that's why i never liked my birthday. she went in and never came out again. 8 months.. tat's how long she spent inside. doesn't matter le.

got home wanted to rest awhile, preparing to send ian stuff. then he called, asking me to go down meet him. OMG. i wear until so lok cock. so damn surprise he will come. he came after work. bought me a cake. SNOOPY cake!!! LOL. then he sang birthday song. keke. omg. touched lahz, i have least expected him to do such things...

birthday coming soon

2007-07-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

firstly, sorry twinnie, i can't pei you on birthday le. need to work. will be stuck in confluence. blah.

my 1st birthday wishing from alan! ok, he's funny. so early. = = "Wish u happy happy, pretty pretty...what else..earn more money. more freedom. Haha.. Enjoy yourself."

LOL. thanks alan! and thanks for the chat. you are much appreciated. =)

anyway, damn sian. thought can go out celebrate or what, do funny stuff but can't. need to work. but never mind. as long as event goes well, it's fine. and i have nice friends and people with me too? LOL.

DOTS

2007-07-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

boring weekend. really going crazy soon. I SO DAMN HATE MY E DRIVE. :'(

sat morning went to meet jerome. had lunch at funan then walked over to peninsula. went to 27th floor, there have a freaking nice view. =) will post up photos when i feel like it. :x LOL. finished meeting then slacked a bit there. wahahaha, got his blog address, heard some of his self composed songs. then i went over to tampines mall.

went to meet tiffany and khai. starbucks. 2nd time in starbucks. talk cock until cz came and join us. blah. then went shopping with tiff and cz at metro. had dinner at pasta mania. yum yum. saw julia and forgot her name. kawaii. lol. slacked at pasta mania rather long, nice view, nice scent. LOL. what's lacking is a bottle of beer.

this afternoon woke up, started doing my logos. i so freaking hate my E drive. lol. evening met cz at bk. then tiff. more talk cock. then went shopping at northpoint. boring mall. went to starbucks. 3rd time in starbucks. paul came over and joined us for dinner. went over to chong pang nasi lemak to makan. called hui ling, she not free. sadded. otherwise got discounts. lol. then met her uncle there. talk more cock. then came home. damn frustrated with the darn E drive. AHHHHHHH...

...

2007-07-14T00:48:00.000+08:00

you know, i am not a mind reader.
why do you always have to do this to me.
each time i thought i have made up my mind
here you are doing some things.
really... what is that, you really want?

randoms

2007-07-11T12:47:00.000+08:00

ok, ms kam seems not bad afterall. treat us famous amos before ut. sweets. yum yum.

went for yeig meeting, very long never go. stoopid albert laugh at my hair. say siying and me can join choon hou le. wth. his hair worst ok? like wig. still dare say. hmmm!

after meeting, went to library collect jona. lol. on the way to causeway, gave him super loads of hint le, i think he is smart enough to get it lah. but he doesn't want to know. LOL. too bad. initially he seemed quite piss off. omg. i can't believe what i said. :x "wa, siying ur twinnie lehz, i am your buddy lehz, how can like that treat us, walk so fast. wo men shi ni sheng ming zhong bu ke yi que shao de nu ren!" and then he stopped. OMG OMG OMG!!! i said that. = = LOL
he was laughing some shit lah.

can't even eat dinner properly, keep bullying me and siying under table. blah.

oh ya oh ya. guess who i saw at w4 canteen? omg omg omg. wait so long, i finally see him again! and he looks nice in formal wear. LOL. dan dan mian!!! kekeke. and he recognises me. =p weee! weee!!! LOL. :x

$1129.08

2007-07-10T14:49:00.000+08:00

that is how much my blog worth. i think i had it somewhere in previous post. i guess my value has been upped? =p

ok... the below photo was from last wednesday, when we were chionging our fyp report. don't ask me why am i biting that stoopid memory card. it got stuck in darling's lappy. i had the most slim fingers of all and yet i still can't remove the stuck memory disk. hence, serene being clever as ever, bite it like a dog and got it removed. -proud-

stop laughing at me can?

then below are photos from wonderwoman series. moving logistics.

tiffany
huiling living up to the name as the heir of Chong Pang nasi lemak
these are all in my house now!
climbing 3 flights of stairs. total steps: 106

now in lab management class. feeling super bored today. did alot of guy watching via online. from that hey gorgeous webby. nothing much. saw sim weiyang in it. LOL. saw emo. saw jeen ke. rest don't like. so i decided to nominate some people. 1st choice was ian. but after several thoughts, i hesistated and nominated my dearest buddy instead. :x

"Mirror is his best friend. Nice guy with a charisma. Facilitator also think he is a lady's man"

Do vote for him.

and vote for ian.

going crazy over him

2007-07-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

LOL. was slacking at home yesterday and still in kingone craze. have been admiring him for a long long time. ultimately cute ok? =P

ok, i really think i am damn pervertic or damn big hua-chi. no lehz, i seldom go ga ga for guys, ever since the prince craze. LOL. the only other person whom made me go ga ga for him in real life is *v*n. cannot put his real name out. LOL. otherwise damn pai sey cause i will still be meeting him. :x when you know him, you will get what i mean, he freaking has the charisma. and i found out something. wa, really, ever since st james, never met him le. :x though i have him on my hp. LOL. really enjoyed that night at bbbc with him. :x

ooops. ok. stop hua-chi-ing. so yesterday, went to cz's house around 4+, met jerome there. after finish serious business, we started to talk cock a bit. =) jerome is fun. LOL. then we went dinner together at 925. after dinner, met paul, went to watch show again. my wife is gangster 3. sorry darling, cause never watch with you, but is damn nice show. =)

woke up late this morning but still managed to reach sch in time. lab lesson was fun cause i finally changed team. no irritating guy. arthur rocks! lol. bernie is cute. i like her. =) i've always thought she and nicholas are cute. LOL. after school, caught carolyn bullying wei yang. wa, how can like that, bully my ah yang. LOL.

then went to meet cixian at woodlands kopitiam near causeway point. omg, this guy never change. ever bullying me. i zhi lian, he must say. i still remember his 1st of sch in rp, he pinched me already! wth. today heng, never pinched me. BUT HE SLAPPED ME! i will take my revenge ok? grrr.

then alan msg me. sianz... he stay so far! bedok! why can't he stay north area! grrr! LOL. always meet him can only meet central. intended to have dinner together but since he works in suntec and stay so far and he so late ask me, too bad boy. another day bahz. ask me on friday ok? i realised i pang sey him 2 fridays le. :x to think that he so nice to me.

came home, quickly chiong my rj and a bit of work, then i have my date with KINGONE!!! he is simply simply gorgeous. =p

Transformers madness 2

2007-07-08T02:36:00.000+08:00

ok. i've got into the craze. all thanks to paul. = =

after packing and bringing back the logistics to my home, please note, ONLY 3 of us GIRLS carrying everything back in 2 toyota crowns. LOL. ok. we are WONDERWOMEN.

and after yesterday night, i really felt i am a SUPERWOMAN. :x

kkz. so anyway, went to watch transformers after dinner. we were guessing how many people will there be in the cinema. my 1st guess was a low 18 and his is a 20. ok, apparently loads of people turned up. so before the ad starts, we guessed again. my guess was a 56, and his at 60. LOL. too bad, i won. right before the ad started, my 56 walked in. LOL! weee. so i won. on the dot.

in return, i asked for this:

the cool Chevrolet Camaro! lol. and in the shade of my favourite color, yellow. weee. PERFECT. waiting for it. :x

kkkz... kidding. anyway was browsing huiling's blog and saw a wishlist for her bday. wa. LOL. my bday coming, perhaps i should have a wishlist too? LOL. nahz. i have a general one. things i want!

am truly sober

2007-07-07T03:00:00.000+08:00

though the things i did, didn't really tally. after school, went over to office, yes. as mentioned.

then after that stupid brandy green tea, went over to fluid bar to look for jui lim. blah. did not get wasted there. drank some vodka lime, ginger ale vodka. yaya kept pouring vodka into my glass, so i drank. he claims that he has bad tolerance level which is very true. :x LOL!

so after drinking, i was rather high. did some stupid things to eddy. i think i've freaked him out. then after eddy left, walked over to central to take bus with cz. had a freaking big fight with him cause of some things he said. work is strictly disallowed after office hours especially when i drink, otherwise, you are sure dead. wa, i scolded and said every single thing i could think of. then later board NR1 with a bloody bad mood. to be frank, am not feeling well these few days. especially with how my classmates treated me when i treated them well, how my family keeps burdening me with things, school work, self expectation and my expectation towards dotbox. you should really see how i yelled at cz. LOL! then i really finally couldn't take it and i did the most unthinkable thing ever.

CRY. in the bus. = = really. i am freaking drained from everything in life. and i won't hide. i didn't hide. i tell you the truth. if i could have choose, i will definately leave s'pore. FOREVER. i once believed and still believe, i have got nothing to lose. so it was really freaking me out.

I HATE MY LIFE! I HATE MY MUM! I HATE HOW I WAS BROUGHT UP! I JUST FUCKING HATE THE PERSON WHO CREATED US AND MY LIFE!

ok... so i really thought i could die. LOL. was at yishun ten crossing that stupid road. green light, can cross le. i paused for awhile before started walking. when i walked, i don't from where, there is this FUCKING CHEEBYE INSANE CAR WITH DRUNK DRIVERS come out from where speeding. ok. i saw it. i paused in the middle of the road. but at an angle where i know they will never hit me. i was pondering, whether to take one step forward. i didn't eventually. so i didn't die. and the FUCKING CHEEBYE INSANE CAR WITH DRUNK DRIVERS still dare to honk. HONK what shit. i never kick his bloody car, scold him vulgarities, he should be happy le. FUCK it. and yup, i think jui lim and yaya saw it too. LOL.

YOU FUCKING CHEEBYE INSANE CAR WITH DRUNK DRIVERS, you lucky you meet serene today. if you ever meet my alter ego, I MAKE YOU ROT LIKE SHIT.

serene is hot

2007-07-06T20:49:00.000+08:00

Serene is fucking hot ok? omg. am in office packing up, then did some changes to floorplan for jerome and ate mac with green tea brandy. OMG. and they made me wear hotpants! so i wore the hotpants walk here and there. = =

i am fucking chio ok? :x

kkz... sorry for the random.

i love liesbet, can see my A. please don't disappoint me.

stop SERENE

2007-07-06T14:13:00.001+08:00

ok. i am on my spree now. :x LOL.

went to browse photos in friendster. and i made a discovery. ivan looks like wind aka jinlong. and i went to tell jona. jona of course defended jinlong lah, say he look better. = = i don't believe, went to ask yahui and darling. YEAH! indeed. ivan looks like jinlong. :p

and zhao looks nerdy cute in specs. LOL

Transformers madness

2007-07-06T11:54:00.000+08:00

everyone is talking about it, everyone wants to watch it. zzz. is it really that nice?

:( sadded. alan say he don't want bring me go watch today because i am sick! sob sob. i still thought can go out have fun. ahhhhh! ok lorz. i shall wait. :)

FYP report chionging

2007-07-05T14:06:00.000+08:00

Ok, was in school yesterday for 2 reasons. 1) new formulation 2) chiong report. Quite fun. creating new formulas.

me tired and shagged after formulation
my cute cute bud
me chionging report in the library
me and my darling
me emoing
darling hua chi-ing
baked shitake mushroom
liesbet tan. my faci

ok... a bit brainless here. damn boring in creative media class. zzz. so here blogging with luke yakking away. luke is cool. =) not my class. :x

this morning had a ride from ian. omg. it was a rollercoaster ride by kinda enjoy it. with the squeezing. LOL

25 minutes

Michael Learns to Rock

After some time I’ve finally made up my mind

She is the girl and I really want to make her mine

I’m searching everywhere to find her again

To tell her I love her

And I’m sorry ’bout the things I’ve done

I find her standing in front of the church

The only place in town where I didn’t search

She looks so happy in her wedding dress

But she’s crying while she’s saying this

Chorus:

Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is

Twenty five minutes too late

Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry you are

Twenty five minutes too late

Against the wind I’m going home again

Wishing be back to the time when we were more than

Friends

Still I see her in front of the church

The only place in town where I didn’t search

She looks so happy in her wedding dress

But she’s cried while she’s saying this

Chorus

Out in the streets

Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat

Inside my head

Still I can hear the words she said

I can still hear what she said
------------------------------------------------------------------

i've always liked this song alot. heard this on the bus yesterday on the bus ride home with jona. also heard this song on saturday night in paul's car.

this stupid song sounds like someone trying to tell me something.

i don't know what's too late

but i just know its too late.

psssttt. heard from jona, wind broke off with his gf le. :x ooops.

the shadow

2007-07-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

我一直都在
By: 林稷安/程于伦

遥望着你背影
有孤单太苍白
我多么想陪着你
走过人山人海
当天空变灰白
你的忧伤澎湃
我多么想走进你
紧锁的心海
我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都
好好收藏着
等你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界
渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热
我鼓起勇气呐喊
你听得见我不许你再孤单
要你拥抱我给的温暖
----------------------------------------------
i walked behind him like a shadow
there were times he saw me
and picked me up
usually i am just someone insignificant
i do not have a face of my own
because he can never see it
i once said, i am unlike others
because i realised i'm always the shadow
i was never someone he could see
he is selfish
because he thought this shadow will follow him
forever...
i'm sorry...
this shadow will not wait for you anymore
if we ever meet again
i am no more your shadow

this was something i wrote a week ago during a bus ride. didn't get it post. i wrote this because i really could relate to this song. =) no regrets.

undefined

2007-07-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

just had a haircut. told auntie short. she almost chopped everything till so short when she had this "brillant" idea and decided to try it on me. adah adah. :x LOL! ok... weird's the word.

thanks stella, i look weird. = =

busy busy whole week. went for confluence meeting on thurs, pia down to treasury in cab. met jerome and the people. forgotten that there is connection night that day, so didn't go with jerome. went to clementi instead, to meet cz. We spent quite some time hearing the erm... ******* talking and to think, i actually understand a bit of their language. LOL. unbelievable.

friday, went to school to stone. successfully stoned and smoke through the lesson, liesbet keep asking me why i so quiet in class. not feeling good these few days. i think it's time to visit her. i need a peace in my mind. i was so tired, i really wanted to be irresponsible to my team, so that i can go out and relax a while. almost went shopping with alan. last minute pang sey him again. sorry sorry. to think he was so nice, bought me dinner all the way to attica. =) in the end, dragged myself to the stupid campsite and as expected the people there, i really got nothing to say.

sometimes i ever wonder, why am i wasting so much time on something is empty, something that i can't see. and to think of that, i've always believed in myself and my judgement. and yet now i have to convince myself to stay on. fuck it! i can put the time and effort i've place here in some other bloody company and could have achieved much more. what the hell. i have sarcrifice everything for it and what's more? now it wants me dead? all i asked for is a little freedom so that i can do my own things.

and to shut those two idiots in my house who has been yakking away since forever she left. speaking of selfish, i think this word suits you two more. THANK YOU.

if you ever think serene is so bloody cute, so fuckable, so damn nice, i am telling you now, I AM BLOODY HELL NOT! scram! i am someone with BIG attitude.

hell hell hell... that's lots of fire. *proof*

Welcome to my life...

2007-06-29T10:26:00.000+08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
have realised, this song is so damn perfect for my kind of life. =) at least he feels this way too. LOL

1 1/2 hours more

2007-06-27T21:50:00.000+08:00

is JONATHAN'S Birthday!!! omg! my buddy is 19 years old. So fast. haiz, old liao old liao. :p LOL!

wo! everyday is a long day for me. yst thought after school can go home sleep... BASKET! cannot. zzz. slept like 15 mins then someone woke me up! had to rush down to amk hub to meet some people who in the end never turn up. zzz. WTH. pek chek ok?

then jona called me, asked me to join him and his gang for run + supper + shun bian do pull up banner. zzz. took 169 down to his house and did a bit of the banner. then ian and paul joined us. went over to yishun stadium. sat there and watched them run 3 rounds around the stadium. then we went for drinks and dinner at the place where i used to buy landscaping things. zzz. didn't know there got beer garden. had so much fun with the guys crapping and watching them playing cards. tried to dig secrets out from them. lol. drank couple of rounds then left. so fast 1am le. LOL. i realised that i actually know paul and ian quite sometime ago but never really speak to them only recently. hahaha!

so anyway today went to many mant places. went to get back my $200 from that somebody and am proud of myself. =) hahahha. never use any vulgarities, sarcastic at him somemore. i am such a nice girl. LOL! ok. then went to find khai and the rest. slacked a bit then went down to amk and to bernard's place. spent quite some time at bernard's place chatting with him, checking prices and talk cock. back to office after that. :(

zzz. haven't go home yet lorz!!! omg...

i <3 them loads!

2007-06-25T20:08:00.000+08:00

omg. i can't imagine this. a huge gathering. with all the people whom i like. LOL. after surviving the class, went dinner with darling, jona, cz, paul and cixian!! fancy having 2 buddies since pri sch to have dinner with. am truly blissed. LOL. love them loads.

and the company was good. :p paul repaid his chicken rice debt. and i forgot what is that for. very long ago. i think since last march holidays. am i right? today he so nice, got panadol extra for my headache, though i didn't take it since my migraine for tolerable. then we walked over to civic plaza cause i need to run an errand.

i wish my everyday have such good company!!! LOL

it's a long entry...

2007-06-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

finally got back from office after staying there for almost 2 nights and am so dead tired? here was what i did:

thursday, 21st june 2007

big event in attica, travelPAC product launch. can say it is one of the event with most emotions. stressed, cried, shouted at each other but also one of the most successful event we ever had. everything went on very smoothly and no hiccups. finally got to met him. put him on guestlist and he came with 2 other friends. one of them, des, happened to be my senior. they are a nice bunch of guys to hang out with. =) albert super drunk. david talked alot. in the end, he had to help us send our logistics back to office. =) thanks boy

friday, 22nd june 2007

didn't make it to school in the morning. couldn't wake up. he sent me home, was 3+am le. so in the end, stayed at home a bit to try do my FYP report. not bad. churned out 500 words within 20 mins. he called me, went to meet him for lunch. we ate at causeway point foodcourt, then we over to MOS burger to get a drink. he say there the milk tea nice. then he sent me to school. still had an hour plus to ut, so he pei me studied at library. his bestie studying in rp too, year 1 currently but definately older than me. then i went for ut. after ut, went to library to find him, he was still waiting for me. soon after, met cz, hui ling and yahui. told him to send gary home, i can settle myself. went to office, started chionging the stupid fliers thing. edwin came to talk about sat event. we couldn't really finish the bloody stickers. and he was waiting for me to have dinner from 10pm - 6am in the morning. he came over and helped us out. pei me until 6am then sent me home.

saturday. 23rd june 2007

woke up at 11am, suppose to meet hui ling to settle the flier thing. he so nice. =) came down to yishun, sent me to cantonment. and he only slept less than 5hours! pro-ling. went lunch at people's park then went out to cantonment to join huiling. he helped me again. then he sent us all to office. chaos chaos. so many things haven't settled for sports carnival. thank you ian for doing up the banner. he's always a saviour. thank you nicky for helping us find the tentage guy. he's always one of my bestie. went down to gombak with clara, to take a look at how things are moving. regretted super loads. but i think luckily i was the one down there. things could have been worst. was there from 5pm. the people not really friendly. said unfriendly words. and twisted my words. insisted on brainless issues. bad people. =( don't like them. but he helped me talked things with them. then finally left at 10.45pm. went to mustafa to get logistics. so bloody packed. :x full of indians. was so pek chek over yahui and that XXXXX. i really thought i would sit down at mustafa and break down. cause i was really until my limit. =) lucky got him. he helped me settle the things, brought me here and there, and practically helped me think as well. cz stuck at erwin's event so most of the things, i had to settle myself. so glad got him. even helped me settle the banner issue which really pissed me off. thanks loads. =)

he must be one of the most patient guys i have ever met. seriously. i think it's really my luck to meet such a nice person. but is his misfortune to meet such a ma fan girl. =p

my shining star. =)

2007-06-24T04:40:00.000+08:00

"Someone in particular is feeling extremely possessive, but that secretly pleases you."

school? work? school? work?

2007-06-22T03:36:00.000+08:00

still choosing. weird. don't know why when i see him, i just feel like quitting work and guai guai study finish, lead a normal life.

argued with chengze again. current status now: damn shagged. i feel so helpless, so drained, so fucked up and so desperate for $$$. omg... i really feel like giving up everything.

mummy, should i? i really cannot take it anymore. it is too heavy for my shoulders.

.... don't know....

can't think. too tired. i really hate pre-event and post event. my partner is too hot tempered. i can't take it anymore.

isolating from the world

2007-06-20T12:10:00.000+08:00

have been isolating from people these few days and usually this period of time is known as emo-ing. yesterday, princey msn me. took me by surprise. but didn't really reply him. what's the point.

help me find a reason to smile can? i am really tired of stupid school life. the people just don't get it, and it is pointless to talk to them because they just freaking don't know and don't care.

yesterday same team as arthur. i think i only liked arthur's class because they are more fun and at least they are harmless.

twinnie is sick and he sprained his ankle. =( sadded. please take care of yourself ok.

lunch, went out to eat with cz and shi hui. met ivan on the way, and he is having lunch with jk!!! omg. ok lah. at least he got say hi and not dao me. still say what quit smoking le, aiyah, bluff me only. i think humans are hypocrites. :x LOL. then met cixian at the coffeeshop, he was sitting beside my table. so i kept looking over, then cz say, the guys there also not handsome, you keep looking there for what. i was like... then he kept talking about the table beside us. even more = =. then cixian suddenly asked me, about tiger beer. then cz was like !!!! LOL. so yeah, cz didn't realise i know him. then cz keep asking me who is he. LOL! my primary school buddy! LOL.

ok. so yup. CHIONG ARH CHIONG ARH!

Where's my gift!

2007-06-18T09:30:00.000+08:00

"You will receive an extravagant gift today, although it won't be something material..."

so where is my gift! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

missing him

2007-06-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

5 months 17 days...

rotted at home for quite sometime. watching corner with love and that jona kept imitating that xiao zhu. then studied a bit for ut. 3 uts in a week and clash with my event somemore. SIAO lorz.

at night went makan with family, so long never eat with them. we went to Han's. happy father's day. didn't realise it till alan sms me. that guy a bit funny. say happy father's day to me. = =. i think i am too young and too lady to be his father. LOL.

papa was asking whether i want to go watch ndp. then gor gor talked about fireworks. suddenly miss him so much. :x and he is such a good player, i should say, if he is one. nevertheless, thanks for the memories. i really do hope and wish to see him again. he seems like have disappeared from this world.

till then again. =)

tired and sleepy; happy yet tired

2007-06-17T01:26:00.001+08:00

ok, i am insane. i think only this stupid buddy of mine can drive me crazy. = = LOL! to think of it, i woke up at 6am, met him at 6.30am and had breakfast together. as usual, i go for roti prata and the guy ate chicken rice. after breakfast, took mrt to marsiling to meet darling then we took train to clementi. hop on bus 96 and off we go to NUS, science faculty.

so here we go...

Me and darling
Liesbet, me and darling
busy!
jona acting cute; his twin can't stand it
we are the honor of REPUBLIC

Jona and my hand
Me and darling
the Republicans; darling and i only DBMS students
ice cream making
more ice cream making

cute cute me.
the chocolate team beside us
my lovely fyp team
we are the mei nus
more pretty girls

after that, we were pretty tired. ok not pretty tired. is damn tired. and the event was kinda boring. zzz. nothing much to see, and not much people around. since i have met chocolate group several times, don't really know them well. jona me intro me a guy from the chocolate group, jun guang.

after the demo, we went back to clementi. we were pondering where else to go. couldn't think of. and i meeting tiffany only at 4pm. had 4 hours to burn. zzz. so then, i pei jona took train to yishun and that stupid guy pang sey me! left at sembawang. so i took bus from yishun int to meet tiff. bought seventeen.

horoscope page:

the Cancer girl is - sensitive, sympathetic and incredibly sweet (am i?)

special trait - hopeless romantic (i tink the guys are more romantic bah...)

best matches - virgo (the lovely prince that i am crazy of!), scorpio (my oldest date: 28yrs old), pisces (senior whom i know through FOP =P)

best avoided - libra (wind... and most libra guys are intelletual, quite like them though...), saggitarius (my ai ke!), aries (gosh! the candylicious sly!)

ok. so basically, that was what i was thinking when i read the horoscope. ok. can say i am nuts.

anyway, after meeting tiff and some of the models, it was home sweet home. so damn sleepy, and i fell asleep in the bus. there's this guy beside me has nice nice cologne. =)

so yeah. that's all bah. =)

who am i

2007-06-15T21:22:00.000+08:00

you always act like a guardian angel
but i've always wonder before
who am i to you
someone who only stops at friend
or someone more
you can be selfish
you are selfish
so why can't i

you never knew how much i feel..

12.28am and i can't sleep

2007-06-15T00:29:00.000+08:00

i think my biological clock is spoilt. and i simply can't sleep these few days. perhaps there are too much things in my mind.

i don't know why or perhaps it is another session of depression? i just don't see the value of what i am doing and i really feel my holiday is so damn screwed. really, or perhaps i've lost the ones whom i can really talk to. but seriously i really find this journey far too lonely.

you know, it has been a long long time since i've met a guy who is so intellectual. apparently, i am still in search of that intellectual guy. fortunately or unfortunately, sometimes i really wished i didn't meet him in yishun mac. of all the guys i've known and seen around our age, you have to admit, he has a very fine brain. =) it was nice going out with him too especially moments we like to argue with each other intellectually even over small things like toys? ok. in simple terms, we are trying to outsmart each other. anyway, i'm pretty sure a much better future awaits him. =) all the best!

ok. and i really think nightlife industry is a very childish industry unless you own the club. i shall wash my hands of these brain-killing things and concentrate on my stupid studies before my brother comes after me and my mum starts to haunt me every night. :x

nevertheless, intellectual guys?

Stress Level = 101%

2007-06-13T16:58:00.000+08:00

what has it got to do with me. fucking hell. i hate bloody LOGOs!!! i hate bloody...

fuck you fuck you fuck you. please stop calling my bloody phone. if you don't know the situation please bloody shut up. ahhhhh!!!

wth wth.

haiz.. still, i must say thanks to 2 wonderful guys. Alan and Ian. wa, thanks alan for helping me with that stupid logo. and thanks ian, for helping me with the stickers.

its fucking hell

2007-06-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

no matter how much sugar coated words you tell me, its never enough. there isn't anymore satisfaction. really. sometimes i really wish i was back to who i was. i wished i never had to walk over to year 2007.

i wish to stay in 31st december 2006 forever and ever. thanks. i know it is impossible. but it the most beautiful dream i ever had.

i hate people who are attached. please stop flaunting what you have in front of me. thanks.

i hate people who keeps telling me how much they are being love. all i can say, there isn't such thing as LOVE.

i hate people who thinks love is everything.

ok ok. lol. i sure stop these nonsense. please don't tell me anything about love or whatsoever feelings you have for me now. because i am not interested. unless you show me what you are worth. thanks.

things are just so superficial

=) =)

2007-06-10T14:43:00.000+08:00

"Impulsively you reached for the stars, only to find that once you get them, you're not sure they were worth the time. Truthfully, though, you learned something in the process that will stay with you forever. "

"幸福真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你
我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明
我就要和你在一起"

ok. lol. alot of stupid star star thingy. hahaha. realised something in common with twinnie. he loves stars too! lol. congrats.

recently working and working. alot of stuff. but am happy. met jerome the other day at shangri la. then we talking abit while waiting for the guys. then he was telling me about the red contact lens incident. up till now, i still find it freaking funny. =p

got many things to say yet don't know what to say. never mind bah. twinnie going malaysia soon. sianz. hope he has wireless there, otherwise it will so damn boring!

sessions

2007-06-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

WO!!! super high now. am drinking martel now with the people. omg. these few days have been drinking alot.

yesterday went to velvet dragon, drank with ken and albert. =) took a few photos, quite blur from my handphone though.

albert rocks! lol. treated us drinks but in the end, we left quite early lah.

ok. now really a bit seh le. and then finally i see how hui ling gets drunk. =p

oh man, just came back from velvet dragon, they had a model show there. and some dance performance. OMG! i saw this guy who is one of the dancer. he is so fucking sexy. he looks like ernest and that guai lan face dancer from funkie stylers. wa, don't know why, after seeing that guy, i really miss ai ke alot. LOL. it has been so long since i last went out with him. 30 dec 2006. woootz.

OMG OMG OMG. i am crazy. ok. i don't know how do i freaking feel now. but i just feel like sitting here and cry and cry. LOL. please. you wouldn't want to know how is serene when she is drunk. she is very sexual. LOL! really. you won't want to know. ok...

i feel like shouting now. AHHHHHH!!! and the martel is fucking fucking fucking heavy. don't know how many years de lorz.

2007-06-07T04:16:00.000+08:00

... omg. i can't believe it! 4.15am! from 2+am talk until 4.15am. first time man. was talking to jui lim over the phone, and i am really damn tired. that guy really can talk alot. = = but thanks still. =)

going through thoughts

2007-06-07T00:54:00.000+08:00

today went down to nus business school to meet alvin and jing yang. it has been a long long while since i last met them. 1 year. i told myself, 1 year, i must make a difference in my life. 1 year, i will prove to him that females are not only housewives. LOL. i think i did. and i am so so glad they still remembered me. because i once said, remember my name, remember my innovation, i will see you again, stronger. I DID. -so proud of myself-

i really really missed startup days. choon hou, darling, mu mu. i really missed them alot. and i missed the days i chiong my startup things and still found time to go out with him. i don't meet him often. perhaps 2 or 3 hours a week. but i am happy. because he makes me happy. and he calls me snoopy (no one ever calls me that!). LOL. i think it was really nice.

i am still chionging for something. today still. my says i know what i want in my life but he doesn't. really? i still don't know what i want. i realised it has been more and more vague. is it because i am still not any near to it. somehow i feel, chionging now and chionging then, is very different. in the past, i may be satisfied with 2 or 3 hours, but now, i'm not. i could see results and i know when it was ending. now, i can't. i am just chionging for an empty space that i don't know what is it all about.

simplicity bah. the difference is.

still talking to him for the past 2 days. seriously i still don't know how i feel or how i think. i don't why. i still feel agitated and frustrated at the mention of that incident. perhaps we viewed it differently? he kept insisted that he was right and he was responsible. yes, the act may be childish. i am not doubting him. but i just don't know why, it doesn't sound real at all. all along i thought i know you well, but just at that moment, he seemed so so distance. that i don't know him at all. i couldn't answer or say anything when he called me. i didn't know what to say. what to think. what to do. i can only coldly say orh. hmmm. i know it hurts you alot. it hurts me too. because i realised we aren't the same. it feels like i am talking to an alien. i am not neglecting you. give us some time bah. perhaps, we need to know each other more bahz.

*thanks jona and twinnie*

rotting

2007-06-05T15:33:00.000+08:00

blah rotting like some shit now. i wanna sleep! serene is desperately in need of sleep. everynight, i so late then reach home.

yesterday they were rotting at my home. then we were chionging dramas. guess what? lawrence called!!! weee! so talked to him awhile.

thurs going to velvet dragon again. don't ask me why. cause my stoopid friend make me go! lol. anyone wanna go?

ok, very bored now. zzz. talking cock with twinnie now. maybe tomorrow i go find the pika pika. hehehe! then i ask him go thurs. see he wanna go a not. bleah. BORING

me against the world

2007-06-03T12:44:00.000+08:00

afterall, i've never once asked anyone to know me or to understand me. and i guessed no one knows me at all except for me, myself and i.

seriously, i felt like the whole world is against me. it is really a terrible feeling. why are you so selfish? because you left without me. they don't even know me and they don't even try knowing me.

it is really a big disappointment. do you really think i enjoy doing such things. i hate nightlife. really. i didn't go there to play. if it wasn't for erwin and viola, i wouldn't even have bothered going down to pavillion. neither did i drink a single drop of alcohol. how can i ever be drunk. i should have being persistent, i should have gone home after st james. i really don't see why i should waste my time at pavillion and look at the stoopid kids fighting. i really find it more and more childish. can't they just grow up? all the stoopid fights. if it wasn't for the fights, i wouldn't even need to wait until 5+am and still waited for nothing. wth.

why doesn't he believe me. why does he think i am like any other kids who likes to club. come on. i don't even club. i really really find these people plain childish and because of their childishness they are affecting me alot alot. and at the end of the day, who pity who? YOURSELF.

you know, yes. it is damn fun going to anywhere on guest list. but it isn't fun witnessing all the stoopid dramas. 5 fights, 1 accident. and because of these stoopid inconsiderate happenings, you brought so much trouble to so many people that you don't even know. at the end of it, do you even say a word of thanks to that person? NOPE! you didn't even notice there's such a person existing at all.

these are selfish thoughts. but have some common sense. everything you do, you must bear the responsibility your own and don't even bother troubling people. if you know you can't do it. DON'T DO IT. this is what i call STUPIDITY and TROUBLESOME.

i'm sorry

2007-06-02T18:37:00.000+08:00

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrysorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

i know how many times i say sorry, it doesn't matter anymore.

mummy, i've give up hope. all the story about serene being so story is so fake. really fake. mummy, i can't take it anymore. really.

take me with you. will you?

promises are not meant to be broken
but if the person doesn't mean it
i don't see the need for the promise to exist anymore
really...

nothing

2007-06-02T18:17:00.000+08:00

all i can say is...

CHILDISH

another busy busy week

2007-06-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

woootz. whole week, busy clubbing. omg!

wed, met twinnie at harbourfront centre when i was in subway. guess who else i saw in subway? hehehe. julia's boy boy!!!! i was like eh... this guy so familiar. who is that. then i think think. JULIA'S BF!!! o.O wahahaha.

then yst morning, was at bright hill helping out. then went home slept. at night went down to velvet dragon. weee. party party. met new friends. michelle, emily, janna, moses and cray. nice nice. i think sweetie thinks i am pretty crazy. lol. danced alot. drank alot. had loads of fun. =) sweetie is nice. love sweetie loads loads.

anna put me on to guest list tomorrow. wee. going to st james powerhouse. :p happy happy. finally getting to go inside. going to stay for awhile then go down support brian bah. scandalicious.

super duper shag. legs cramp, stomach cramp. wth

Occupied

2007-05-28T11:48:00.000+08:00

oh man. i am so so occupied last week and i predict this week will be damn occupied too.

friday after school, went to city hall to meet nicky and joanna. stupid lah, initially meeting at teo hong de lorz, then i took bus to chinatown le!!! so in the end, i walked over to raffles city. serene is so smart. met donnie and the emcee jacqueline as well. jacq looks like joanne. said hi hi and then proceeded to Go Global's content. blah. stoopid RP. don't want to say anything about them lah but i just know my shi fu choon hou is still the best. =) after discussion, donnie and joanna went for cell group, jacq waited for bob, another emcee, so i went dinner with nicky. we walked over to funan mall to eat kfc. hehe! very long never eat kfc le. spent about 3 hours talking cock there before we left. walked over to chinatown to take bus cause nicky meeting his friends at chinatown. and then you know what? on the bus, on our way home, met hui ling. kekeke.

saturday morning, woke up and dragged myself up very early. zzz. I WANT TO SLEEP! ok. early in the morning, nicky called me. keep asking me quickly go over to rp. he say rp got so many cute guys. oh man! WHERE HAVE! if have, i long ago take liao. still wait for him. he is so gay lah. = = then treated him makan taiwan food. ok, that guy then cute ok? seminar went well, i think i was more entertaining than the other time. but very small crowd. zzz. can do focus group discussion. LOL. imagine. then finally met douglas foo, sakae sushi. supposed to have seen him twice, but everytime last minute never turned up. but it's all good. i feel so. then talked to colin from settler's. then spent the rest of my time laming with nicky, talking sense with kan wee and playing Dilbert with t-hub. after that, home sweet home.

sunday morning woke up early again. wa, first time i see chengze never late. good good. met at my house, then papa sent us to lavender to meet the rest. went over to scottz place and did some discussion. weee. i simply love scottz place. hehehe. =) scottz rocks! anyway, eddy joined us later, we talk cock sing song more. then home sweet home. thanks papa for helping us. then went home talk talk to gor gor. my snoopy cut hair le!!! now he is one foxy. hahaha.

now in class slacking like shit cause problem super easy. come in class keep doing work and work. oh oh! you know what? that day the focus group discussion, got 2 girls went to know my buddy and cz. OMG lahz!
-get your hands off them!!!- they are mine! wahahahah. jona is mine! shoo. ok. kidding. i am possessive. :x anyway, twinnie telling me about this stoopid faci he has and i feel i have a similar faci in my class now. she damn hypocrite. :x ok. anyhow, if it wasn't for this stoopid faci, i wouldn't know liesbet. lisebet simply rocks!!!

:p

bored in class

2007-05-24T14:53:00.001+08:00

ok, was browsing blog entries and i found twinnie posting my photo on his blog. = = wa, one day i must go kop his photo, then post here. :p

anyway, damn bored. i 1 week never meet sweetie le. poor boy. neglecting him. :x miss him.

bah. anyway, done many things this week. super super busy. popped down to albert's office and spoke to him yesterday. spoke very long. he want to sponsor me his new bag! =) i got new bag le. weee! i love albert! and then went to t-hub on tues night. met all the folks, had dinner with kan wei, rod and donnie. rod dyed his hair, looked beng. laughed at him and he became quiet during dinner. kekeke. then went back to teo hong and chatted with kan wei until 11+. zzz.

yesterday pop down to scottz's office. wa!!! cool man, he has such a big office. damn lovely. chat chat chat. then the noodles shop around the corner looks cool. china people run. looks nice. =) then went for dinner, ate at our favourite pig organ soup place. woootz. VERY VERY good dinner. =) simply love it.

shhh... now in liesbet class. she's beside me only. blah. and then my classmate, sitting beside me now. she looks like apple. anyway, i got a new gf. :x hehehe. her name is apple. very very nice girl. (sweetie don't jealous!)

Emo

2007-05-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

Weird things happened today. Woke up feeling strange and i did one silly thing. i tied my hair up today. it has been freaking long since i tied my hair to school. i think the change isn't that bad. quite receptive with people.

i think liesbet is a very smart woman. she knows alot of things just by observing. she knew and got what i meant.

i don't think is pretendence of ignorance really. because you knew what i meant. if you didn't, you wouldn't have said those words.

anyway, eddy came and joined us for dinner after the focus group discussion. saw this guy who looks like prince in the focus group discussion but is a china guy. and then as if it isn't bad enough, guess who i met during dinner? wind... at causeway point foodcourt somemore! blah. with her. blah.

aiyah, jona was asking me, i still really mind after so long? really, i don't hate him for doing what he did. in fact i must thank him. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't have persisted in my Startup. i wouldn't have joined dotbox. i wouldn't have what i have now. so, thanks.

anyway, other than him, dinner was fun. especially with liesbet and eddy. made liesbet talked about her husband. =) then we talked abit relationships. our team itself, the relationships among ourselves is already so complicated. :p and liesbet could guess most of it right, she's smart.

btw, i found my twin today! so excited!!! TWINNIE!!! hi hi!

reflections

2007-05-20T22:36:00.000+08:00

was talking to sweetie last night over the phone. i realised, the more i know him, the more i see a serene in front of me. frankly speaking, should i love myself or hate myself? LOL. never mind.

i just see lots of familiarities in us. but perhaps i am the more emotion-less one. what he told me yesterday really reminds me of what i was and perhaps still of what i am. i don't know why, just like what he says, people don't understand and they are not able to see the world we are in. up till now, cz can never see or feel what i felt, what i saw. i meant, i never asked him to look into my world. all i asked for was to let things settle it that way but he is those sort whom likes to challenge you. really. then, all i could think of was to go back to my family because they really needed me. but he didn't see it. i guess till now, he still see it as a betrayal. cz ah, you will never know the feeling of losing someone who is your everything, leaving in a house which seems more like a hotel, with 2 other very depressed people and having to tolerate their temper, after that, losing the comfort you thought you have found. really, in this sort of circumstances, i really thought i should just jump off. but then i realised, if i wasn't to be strong and support the 2 of them, who's going.

come on, i was barely 18 then, how can someone who is barely an adult yet going to be an adult. reality is hard to face sometimes. but whatever, i have always being independent. too independent, too alone.

its really really very tiring to wear so many masks, trying to act as if you are a superwoman when you know you are not one. yet you can never find someone who can truly understand you. ok, i don't need you to understand me. but it really hurts when you thought you found a listening ear, then the person say you are self-pitying. blah blah. ok. enough of this topic.

but then, like what Albert says:
anyhow, whichever u do it...do know how to strike a bal, otherwise u go bongus

ok, anyway, i was taking dinner today. opposite a basketball court. then on fri, with li ping we went over to the sports complex. keke! saw sly training on the track. o.O but never mind. saw the basketball team playing. so was thinking during dinner, perhaps, if i didn't quit the basketball team, my life would have definitely be different. because i wouldn't have got involved with enterprise competitions. and perhaps, i wouldn't be where i am currently.

oh, anyway, choon hou was asking me whether am i interested in meeting PM Lee. OMG lah! PM LEE!!! what am i going to say to him if i ever meet him? anyway, next saturday, Go Global talk. 2nd public speaking. =) keke.

mummy, i miss you so so much.

happy happy girl

2007-05-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

never realised how fucked up i was in the past few months till i can't see the serene i used to know.

today finally, once again, i saw the serene i used to know, all thanks to this lovely girl, Li ping. =p haven't had so much fun in awhile.

yesterday went to butter factory with the peeps. met this nice nice girl in the club. actually i seen her quite awhile but didn't get to talk to her. finally, managed to speak to her yesterday. sweet. then was talking to this butch in the ladies. i think somehow, she's right in some things. so we exchanged contact as well.

early in the morning, woke up went to school like a zombie. first thing arthur saw me, he said "wa! how come today whole team like never sleep". jasmin also slept late yesterday. super stress in class. late again. 2nd time le. 3rd time, down graded. lucky today i talked quite alot and jillyn looks nice today. hopefully she close one eye. :p

watch me grow

2007-05-17T11:12:00.001+08:00

"You know how goldfish can grow infinitely large if taken out of a bowl and put in a lake? Think of your life as a goldfish. What setting can you put yourself in so you allow yourself to grow to your full capabilities?"

boring class. i want to sleep

2007-05-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

woke up in the morning and it was raining heavily so i really thought, i really wanted to sleep. zzz. but school isn't that bad afterall. realised nicholas (that guy who works in fluid bar) is in the same block as me. E2, same floor also. LOL! so he is a STA student. and know what what? oppo my class is that jinlong lookalike's class. next door class also have another cute guy. OMG!!! why sta so many cute guys??? ok. never mind. i trying to make one of my team mate pek chek. :p i very naughty de. so anyway, why everyone is so crazy with onion head. ok ok.

here's the real anyway. am looking through my "theteraclub" webby, i love their new arrivals. especially the dress. =)

nice right? hehe!

the journey alone

2007-05-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

today in school was pretty good especially if you are sitting beside your darling. it was quite a fun day in hamsan's class. he's leaving next week. hope to have a hamsan alike faci. after class, took ut. sucks pretty much because the stoopid ibm hates me. did paper ut then. blah. after ut, was really famished, so ate at w4 with cz. then there's this new stall in w4, selling taiwan food. not bad. nice. there's a cute guy working inside too. he's very funny. my noodles was ready but still have to wait for cz's rice. he gave me the wrong order. so had to wait even longer, he asked me to go back and sit, i said no point. since already waited so long, might as well wait longer. then he say good, can accompany him, can see me also. = = he openly flirted in front of other patrons. funniest thing is when cz's rice was ready, i dunnoe what he was doing, but he accidentally knocked the bowls over. so yup. LOL! should have seen his expression. he was so freaking embarrass! keke

so anyway, was suppose to meet sweetie after classes but in the end never meet him. didn't want to go home so early so went to chong pang mac and rot. did a bit of revision, then met primary schoolmate. very long never see him, so chatted with him for quite awhile. then we went over to chong pang market to have dinner and met southwest cdc people. chatted with them abit then went home. took the same bus as him, he sat in front of me. then he turned back and said "serene, you have lots of things in your mind." i smiled. then he asked, what do you want? i simply replied, "happiness" (kuai le)

the next thing he did scared me quite a bit. he held out my hand and asked me to close my eyes. i did and was thinking alot alot. he took his hand out of his bag and placed it on my palms and closed my palms. he said "kuai le zai ni shou ni le" (happiness is already in your hands). strangely, i really felt happy. i don't know why, but you know, thanks. he has enlightened me on some things. happiness has always been around. it was just that i've overlooked it and thought i had never seen it. thanks thanks alot. i understand le.

came back and was chatting with yang. he was telling me about this girl i think he was together with her for a few days. he broke up with her cause she felt she wasn't ready. yet she kept coming back to him. so he was feeling very emotional and all. so we chatting a bit about relationship stuff. then he was asking me "whats a bf to you". is it you must NEED and DEPEND on him to make it feel right? why cant it just be... you enjoy being around him...

frankly speaking, i dun quite know about it too. but i think it is this way: a bf is someone whom can bring me smiles when i'm sad, someone i can share my happy things with, someone whom will help me tink when i'm tired to. it just makes u feel not empty anymore. u noe u are not alone.

then he asked, does your bf does all this for you? i don't know. i just feel that with him, it is a different serene altogether. serene can be someone who's like a superwoman working without emotions. but with him, i realised, sometimes superwoman isn't superwoman at all. she has emotions as well.

the rest, it just brings me back to a blank.