thoughts and words
Monday, May 28, 2007
Occupied

oh man. i am so so occupied last week and i predict this week will be damn occupied too.

friday after school, went to city hall to meet nicky and joanna. stupid lah, initially meeting at teo hong de lorz, then i took bus to chinatown le!!! so in the end, i walked over to raffles city. serene is so smart. met donnie and the emcee jacqueline as well. jacq looks like joanne. said hi hi and then proceeded to Go Global's content. blah. stoopid RP. don't want to say anything about them lah but i just know my shi fu choon hou is still the best. =) after discussion, donnie and joanna went for cell group, jacq waited for bob, another emcee, so i went dinner with nicky. we walked over to funan mall to eat kfc. hehe! very long never eat kfc le. spent about 3 hours talking cock there before we left. walked over to chinatown to take bus cause nicky meeting his friends at chinatown. and then you know what? on the bus, on our way home, met hui ling. kekeke.

saturday morning, woke up and dragged myself up very early. zzz. I WANT TO SLEEP! ok. early in the morning, nicky called me. keep asking me quickly go over to rp. he say rp got so many cute guys. oh man! WHERE HAVE! if have, i long ago take liao. still wait for him. he is so gay lah. = = then treated him makan taiwan food. ok, that guy then cute ok? seminar went well, i think i was more entertaining than the other time. but very small crowd. zzz. can do focus group discussion. LOL. imagine. then finally met douglas foo, sakae sushi. supposed to have seen him twice, but everytime last minute never turned up. but it's all good. i feel so. then talked to colin from settler's. then spent the rest of my time laming with nicky, talking sense with kan wee and playing Dilbert with t-hub. after that, home sweet home.

sunday morning woke up early again. wa, first time i see chengze never late. good good. met at my house, then papa sent us to lavender to meet the rest. went over to scottz place and did some discussion. weee. i simply love scottz place. hehehe. =) scottz rocks! anyway, eddy joined us later, we talk cock sing song more. then home sweet home. thanks papa for helping us. then went home talk talk to gor gor. my snoopy cut hair le!!! now he is one foxy. hahaha.

now in class slacking like shit cause problem super easy. come in class keep doing work and work. oh oh! you know what? that day the focus group discussion, got 2 girls went to know my buddy and cz. OMG lahz!
-get your hands off them!!!- they are mine! wahahahah. jona is mine! shoo. ok. kidding. i am possessive. :x anyway, twinnie telling me about this stoopid faci he has and i feel i have a similar faci in my class now. she damn hypocrite. :x ok. anyhow, if it wasn't for this stoopid faci, i wouldn't know liesbet. lisebet simply rocks!!!

:p

loves from anna-res

Thursday, May 24, 2007
bored in class

ok, was browsing blog entries and i found twinnie posting my photo on his blog. = = wa, one day i must go kop his photo, then post here. :p


anyway, damn bored. i 1 week never meet sweetie le. poor boy. neglecting him. :x miss him.

bah. anyway, done many things this week. super super busy. popped down to albert's office and spoke to him yesterday. spoke very long. he want to sponsor me his new bag! =) i got new bag le. weee! i love albert! and then went to t-hub on tues night. met all the folks, had dinner with kan wei, rod and donnie. rod dyed his hair, looked beng. laughed at him and he became quiet during dinner. kekeke. then went back to teo hong and chatted with kan wei until 11+. zzz.

yesterday pop down to scottz's office. wa!!! cool man, he has such a big office. damn lovely. chat chat chat. then the noodles shop around the corner looks cool. china people run. looks nice. =) then went for dinner, ate at our favourite pig organ soup place. woootz. VERY VERY good dinner. =) simply love it.

shhh... now in liesbet class. she's beside me only. blah. and then my classmate, sitting beside me now. she looks like apple. anyway, i got a new gf. :x hehehe. her name is apple. very very nice girl. (sweetie don't jealous!)

loves from anna-res

Monday, May 21, 2007
Emo

Weird things happened today. Woke up feeling strange and i did one silly thing. i tied my hair up today. it has been freaking long since i tied my hair to school. i think the change isn't that bad. quite receptive with people.

i think liesbet is a very smart woman. she knows alot of things just by observing. she knew and got what i meant.

i don't think is pretendence of ignorance really. because you knew what i meant. if you didn't, you wouldn't have said those words.

anyway, eddy came and joined us for dinner after the focus group discussion. saw this guy who looks like prince in the focus group discussion but is a china guy. and then as if it isn't bad enough, guess who i met during dinner? wind... at causeway point foodcourt somemore! blah. with her. blah.

aiyah, jona was asking me, i still really mind after so long? really, i don't hate him for doing what he did. in fact i must thank him. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't have persisted in my Startup. i wouldn't have joined dotbox. i wouldn't have what i have now. so, thanks.

anyway, other than him, dinner was fun. especially with liesbet and eddy. made liesbet talked about her husband. =) then we talked abit relationships. our team itself, the relationships among ourselves is already so complicated. :p and liesbet could guess most of it right, she's smart.

btw, i found my twin today! so excited!!! TWINNIE!!! hi hi!

loves from anna-res

Sunday, May 20, 2007
reflections

was talking to sweetie last night over the phone. i realised, the more i know him, the more i see a serene in front of me. frankly speaking, should i love myself or hate myself? LOL. never mind.

i just see lots of familiarities in us. but perhaps i am the more emotion-less one. what he told me yesterday really reminds me of what i was and perhaps still of what i am. i don't know why, just like what he says, people don't understand and they are not able to see the world we are in. up till now, cz can never see or feel what i felt, what i saw. i meant, i never asked him to look into my world. all i asked for was to let things settle it that way but he is those sort whom likes to challenge you. really. then, all i could think of was to go back to my family because they really needed me. but he didn't see it. i guess till now, he still see it as a betrayal. cz ah, you will never know the feeling of losing someone who is your everything, leaving in a house which seems more like a hotel, with 2 other very depressed people and having to tolerate their temper, after that, losing the comfort you thought you have found. really, in this sort of circumstances, i really thought i should just jump off. but then i realised, if i wasn't to be strong and support the 2 of them, who's going.

come on, i was barely 18 then, how can someone who is barely an adult yet going to be an adult. reality is hard to face sometimes. but whatever, i have always being independent. too independent, too alone.

its really really very tiring to wear so many masks, trying to act as if you are a superwoman when you know you are not one. yet you can never find someone who can truly understand you. ok, i don't need you to understand me. but it really hurts when you thought you found a listening ear, then the person say you are self-pitying. blah blah. ok. enough of this topic.

but then, like what Albert says:
anyhow, whichever u do it...do know how to strike a bal, otherwise u go bongus

ok, anyway, i was taking dinner today. opposite a basketball court. then on fri, with li ping we went over to the sports complex. keke! saw sly training on the track. o.O but never mind. saw the basketball team playing. so was thinking during dinner, perhaps, if i didn't quit the basketball team, my life would have definitely be different. because i wouldn't have got involved with enterprise competitions. and perhaps, i wouldn't be where i am currently.

oh, anyway, choon hou was asking me whether am i interested in meeting PM Lee. OMG lah! PM LEE!!! what am i going to say to him if i ever meet him? anyway, next saturday, Go Global talk. 2nd public speaking. =) keke.

mummy, i miss you so so much.

loves from anna-res

Friday, May 18, 2007
happy happy girl

never realised how fucked up i was in the past few months till i can't see the serene i used to know.

today finally, once again, i saw the serene i used to know, all thanks to this lovely girl, Li ping. =p haven't had so much fun in awhile.

yesterday went to butter factory with the peeps. met this nice nice girl in the club. actually i seen her quite awhile but didn't get to talk to her. finally, managed to speak to her yesterday. sweet. then was talking to this butch in the ladies. i think somehow, she's right in some things. so we exchanged contact as well.

early in the morning, woke up went to school like a zombie. first thing arthur saw me, he said "wa! how come today whole team like never sleep". jasmin also slept late yesterday. super stress in class. late again. 2nd time le. 3rd time, down graded. lucky today i talked quite alot and jillyn looks nice today. hopefully she close one eye. :p

loves from anna-res

Thursday, May 17, 2007
watch me grow

"You know how goldfish can grow infinitely large if taken out of a bowl and put in a lake? Think of your life as a goldfish. What setting can you put yourself in so you allow yourself to grow to your full capabilities?"

loves from anna-res

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
boring class. i want to sleep

woke up in the morning and it was raining heavily so i really thought, i really wanted to sleep. zzz. but school isn't that bad afterall. realised nicholas (that guy who works in fluid bar) is in the same block as me. E2, same floor also. LOL! so he is a STA student. and know what what? oppo my class is that jinlong lookalike's class. next door class also have another cute guy. OMG!!! why sta so many cute guys??? ok. never mind. i trying to make one of my team mate pek chek. :p i very naughty de. so anyway, why everyone is so crazy with onion head. ok ok.

here's the real anyway. am looking through my "theteraclub" webby, i love their new arrivals. especially the dress. =)






nice right? hehe!












loves from anna-res

Monday, May 14, 2007
the journey alone

today in school was pretty good especially if you are sitting beside your darling. it was quite a fun day in hamsan's class. he's leaving next week. hope to have a hamsan alike faci. after class, took ut. sucks pretty much because the stoopid ibm hates me. did paper ut then. blah. after ut, was really famished, so ate at w4 with cz. then there's this new stall in w4, selling taiwan food. not bad. nice. there's a cute guy working inside too. he's very funny. my noodles was ready but still have to wait for cz's rice. he gave me the wrong order. so had to wait even longer, he asked me to go back and sit, i said no point. since already waited so long, might as well wait longer. then he say good, can accompany him, can see me also. = = he openly flirted in front of other patrons. funniest thing is when cz's rice was ready, i dunnoe what he was doing, but he accidentally knocked the bowls over. so yup. LOL! should have seen his expression. he was so freaking embarrass! keke

so anyway, was suppose to meet sweetie after classes but in the end never meet him. didn't want to go home so early so went to chong pang mac and rot. did a bit of revision, then met primary schoolmate. very long never see him, so chatted with him for quite awhile. then we went over to chong pang market to have dinner and met southwest cdc people. chatted with them abit then went home. took the same bus as him, he sat in front of me. then he turned back and said "serene, you have lots of things in your mind." i smiled. then he asked, what do you want? i simply replied, "happiness" (kuai le)

the next thing he did scared me quite a bit. he held out my hand and asked me to close my eyes. i did and was thinking alot alot. he took his hand out of his bag and placed it on my palms and closed my palms. he said "kuai le zai ni shou ni le" (happiness is already in your hands). strangely, i really felt happy. i don't know why, but you know, thanks. he has enlightened me on some things. happiness has always been around. it was just that i've overlooked it and thought i had never seen it. thanks thanks alot. i understand le.

came back and was chatting with yang. he was telling me about this girl i think he was together with her for a few days. he broke up with her cause she felt she wasn't ready. yet she kept coming back to him. so he was feeling very emotional and all. so we chatting a bit about relationship stuff. then he was asking me "whats a bf to you". is it you must NEED and DEPEND on him to make it feel right? why cant it just be... you enjoy being around him...

frankly speaking, i dun quite know about it too. but i think it is this way: a bf is someone whom can bring me smiles when i'm sad, someone i can share my happy things with, someone whom will help me tink when i'm tired to. it just makes u feel not empty anymore. u noe u are not alone.

then he asked, does your bf does all this for you? i don't know. i just feel that with him, it is a different serene altogether. serene can be someone who's like a superwoman working without emotions. but with him, i realised, sometimes superwoman isn't superwoman at all. she has emotions as well.

the rest, it just brings me back to a blank.

loves from anna-res

Friday, May 11, 2007
loads of thoughts

ok... that does it. so many things to say. how should i start? ok, let me start with this girl first, known as A.

i find her real weird. i am wondering, what's her intention. she has a bf, and yet she everyday will chat on the phone with my friend, known as X. and she even came to rp somemore. i can't take it anymore, because this dear girl is getting my fren so excited each time and then when she left home with her bf, this fren will come and talk to me, cry to me. what can i do? i can do nothing. already told him, she's a player, don't take it serious, yet he is still contacting her. ya lah, not my dai ji, shouldn't go bother, but i just find the girl weird. i don't see myself chatting with jona everyday on the phone. i don't even chat with my sweetie. :x oops. but still, A should know her limits lahz.

then this X very funny, keep telling me, one day is enough. yup, you had your one day, but you are still not letting go to it? you still having so many so many days? the longer you let go, the more hurt you will have. aiyo... stop lah. leave her in your memories will do.

and then, got another funny thing. got this girl, known as S, has a bf who is J. very very funny. J's family say S's posture is not good, a bit hunchback. and the saddest thing is that J asks S to change her posture then thought S already said that it's quite impossible. HELLO! you stupid pig or what. it's only a tiny little hunchback, just only a minor defect, not as if she is smoking or drinking like hell or she killed his cat. what's your problem man? we have been living like that for the past 19 years. this is something hard to change and it is not as if you want to marry model. if you so clever want model, then jolly well go find a model. buzz off ok. stop making my bestie sad. just accept it or just buzz off.

blah blah blah.

loves from anna-res

busy busy week

Hello people, have been a really busy busy week for me. Just completed Journal, Lit review for FYP. Finished 1st UT in this semester and the next UT is on Monday and Tuesday. :'( Both for Pharmaceutical. Monday is law, tuesday is pharmacotherapy.

Dotbox is also moving house, had to settle our location so after school have to run here and there. nxt sat there will be an event going on, helping zhi zun from worldview. yst met up with several worldview people in rp. blah. btw, my fujistu is officially dead. have yet to bring it to hospital.

nowadays i find my temperament and appetite is a bit haywired. lol. save me. PAUL, if you are reading this, you haven't give me SOUTH PARK!!! ok... that was random. ALAN, if you are reading this, you haven't send me email! ok... another randomness.

Go Global coming right up very soon. still thinking of my speech. don't know what to talk. audience are much more matured this time. will be seeing nicky!!! ahhh, i miss that guy much, wonder how is he doing. wouldn't harm catching up with him. cz, i understand, you can jolly well stay far away from him when we meet. LOL. if you wonder why, look up previous post to see who's nicky.

class today not bad. quite fun. at least i got contribute and study today. very guai. zzz.

today is the grand opening of velvet dragon, former club momo. hahaha. i miss the days i spent during last december holiday. carefree, yet working hard on my dream. spent alot of nights partying as well. met kelvin in canteen on wed, spoke to him briefly. ever since ai ke graduated from rp, kinda miss his presence. no more funny man. very odd, last time everytime i go clubbing, will see him, then he still tell me he not clubber. = = LOL!

ahhhh. ok. as mentioned, i think i am very random these days. poor sweetie have to tolerate me. LOL! sorry about the so many randomness and my weird behaviour. LOL!

but afterall, if serene isn't weird, she isn't serene. right? :x

loves from anna-res

Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Motivation

back at ye meeting today. after a rest from my stupid indigestion thingy and crapping the floor several times. have such a nice sweetie who came all the way from yck to yishun to deliver things here. sweet of him. happy happy fortunate girl.

shifu, thanks for everything. I AM MORE MOTIVATED TO WORK NOW! go go serene go go serene! i will not let you down de. i say serene can fly, make sure you watch serene fly.

had more crapping session with wai keong, wei cong and guys. just realised how much i missed them and how long i have not went back to ye activities.

i really missed the days, where muhe, darling and i really fought hard in 7th startup. the late nights, the arguements, the pettiness, the tears, all for one thing: success. success never comes easy. i realised. 7th startup was only my beginning. i realised. now back on track only left me when mumu left for nafa and darling calling it quits in events and business.

i also missed the days, where wai keong and i really like bicker at everything in assignments, in competition, blah blah blah. but still must say he is one of the bestest friends i have made in RP. =)

but still, not looking back, am only looking towards the future now. DOTBOX! are you ready to fight? YES I AM! go go go!

loves from anna-res

Sunday, May 06, 2007
irritating irritating

irritating irritating

i can't understand why. some people only know how to talk and don't know how to do. keep talk and talk and talk. nag at me only. AND YET THEY DON"T BLOODY DO IT THEMSELVES. they think what i do in dotbox is for fun? can't you bloody see how much effort i put in it.

and some idiots even ask me what for put so much effort, its not like dotbox earning millions. HELLO! do you even ever see those big business' success path? you think they everyone has a golden mountain at home? you don't even see the tears we shed, you just bloody SHUT UP. wait and see.

loves from anna-res

Pressure is here

OMG. once again, the pressure is back. i am suffocating myself. if i can ever invent something, i would probably want to split myself into many parts so that i can play different roles!!!

WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING FOR ME! and i simply hate school. see how much time i can save, not going to school. i don't understand why everyone is going to school. blah. irritating people only. i guess the only motivation in going to school is to look at eye candies like sly. ;) ok, kidding. IF IT WASN'T FOR DARLING'S NAGGING, i can't be bothered to go. wa, thanks darling. =) so anyway, school is boring. blah. i hate the facis. i hate the classmates. i hate the modules. i only like enterprise skills. can i go back to year 1? still my dearest shifu, choon hou is the best. =) hehe!

anyway, wa! i am really dying le lah. dotbox so many things to do especiallywith jayrius and hj not around anymore. AHHHH. dying dying dying.

WHY JUST CAN"T EVERYONE UNDERSTAND I CAN"T BE EVERYWHERE AT THE SAME TIME! and i bloody need some time for myself too.

irritating irritating. this is getting more and more irritating. i am getting more and more pissed off than ever. BLOODY HELL EVERYONE FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE THIS WEEK!


blah. now i know why i drink. now i know why i like to drink. i am happiest and most carefree when i drink. i can do anything i like, anything i want. i don't have to care about anything. I FUCKING WANT TO DRINK!


blah. sometimes i just wish sweetie is my neighbour. save all the hassle. i happy happy can just go to his house. no need care. why he stay so far! blah.




mummy... are you happy up there? if you are, please bring me along. i am really really tired of leaving my life this way. i am very tired. i got so much things to do and have no time. and no one understands me the way you do. :'(

mummy i am very sad. jona say i have changed. changed until sometimes he doesn't know who am i. mummy, tell me who am i? now that you are gone, even jona doesn't know me, who else can understand?

mummy. i miss you so so so much. :'(

loves from anna-res

Friday, May 04, 2007
helpless

i am feeling so helpless now. things just doesn't seem to flow well. i don't know. the things just don't make sense to me.

i can't help but feel frustrated. i don't know. were these all truths? twinnie and jona said, no point continue thinking since i've already made my choice. but the image of the motorcyclist on the ground in front of MOS just keeps occuring in me. these things are really reality. i realised.

perhaps they were right. i should stop thinking and move on. was i cruel to leave just like this? humans are selfish bah?

i just know why, i just don't understand. yes. humans makes mistake. but there are some mistakes that shouldn't be made at all. so what if you admit it and don't learn. what for wait till things happen then learn? i seriously don't know what you are thinking. i suddenly realised, i really don't know you well. someone who can use people's lives at stake... really. i realised i don't know you well enough.

i am sorry. goodbye.

loves from anna-res

Thursday, May 03, 2007
Thoughts...

爱很简单
by: 陶喆

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你
有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你
真的很简单
爱得地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法决择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我
喔......
i love you
无法不爱着你
说你也爱我
i love you
永远不愿意
baby
失去你不可能更快乐
只要能在一起
做什么都可以
虽然世界变个不停
用最真诚的心
让爱变得简单
爱得地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法决择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我
喔......
i love you
我一直在这里
一直在爱你
i love you
永远都不放弃
这爱你的权利
如果你还有一些困惑
请贴着我的心倾听
听我说着爱你
yes i do
i love you
-----------------------------------------
sometimes somethings you just can't get an answer
i have been doing a lot of reflections recently
spoke to goodie wei yang this afternoon
we were talking about this issue: LOVE, interests, like
how long can you keep a person loving you?
how long can you love a person?
how can you stop yourself from not loving anymore?
how much are you willing to give?
how much can you give?
how far do you want to go?
where will we be 10 years down?

sometimes even logic can't answer these
yet it won't stop yourself from asking these
i don't care
at least that's what i thought
there was once
i was able to tell everyone confidentally
i will not want to go into a relationship before 23
ironically i defy myself

i realise the only thing tat permits us to think illogically
is LOVE
i thought it was a stupid thing
that just makes people go crazy about anything everything
yet when i feel it
i found the warmth, the comfort
like even when the whole world collaspe
there is still this person there for you
you may have everything in the world
but without him, you are nothing but empty

it may just be a feeling
yet this feeling is so strong
that you thought it can controls your whole life
i finally understand this complicated thing

loves from anna-res

Tuesday, May 01, 2007
randoms

omg! now then i know that stupid botak guy wanted to know me! bloody hell! you want to dig my info, you don't bloody hell touch my people i tell you! i make sure i bite your head off! and how dare you even want to fight with ivan (rp). the more i wouldn't even bother knowing you. blah. hum ji kia.

LOL! ok. yeah abit agitated here because you never see how stupid he acted on saturday night. speaking of that, must thank the 2 ivans, wei ren and jin xian. muhahahaha!

ok, that aside, pretty random now. sometimes i sit here and look at people. i find them so funny. LOL! anyway, never mind. have been thinking who am i. each time i ask myself that, reminds me of wei yang's kit kat. LOL! funny it seems, but his kit kat reminds me of who i am really am.

so long no eat sakae sushi. i foresee sakae sushi real soon. and i foresee i will be eating it with bro and jona or with bro only. hehe! SAKAE SUSHI!!!

loves from anna-res

FEMEE

eneres
is
weird

MARTINI KISSES
babes & dudes

001: Arty Farty
002: Serene Tay
003: Hui Ling
004: Ernest
005: Muhe
006: Nelson
007: Shawn
008: Twin
009: Kingone
010: Jerome


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1) White & Blue Leather Chuck Taylor sneakers
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